PRESIDENT ERECT

Congratulations to former US President Bill Clinton, who managed to keep control of his trousers in what could have been an embarrassing situation. Halfway through a fundraising speech in LA to raise money for his wife Hillary's presidential campaign, the lights went off and the room was left in the dark. Prime pickings surely, for a man who would have sex with a beehive if the queen gave consent...

Bill's legendary iron self-control kicked in and he completed the speech in the dark. And even though the power to the microphone was cut, he managed to bellow out platitudes to his wife long enough to gain a standing ovation, though Stevie Wonder was unaware what all the fuss was about.

And he kept control again when asked what he would do if his wife became President. He gritted his teeth, grinned and said, "I'm going to do whatever she asks me to."

It's likely she'll be asking him to keep his mouth (and flies) shut, though he resisted the temptation to declare that he'd probably be spraying his juices all over the nearest intern at the first possible opportunity.