Stay away from Manchester this weekend. It isn't going to be pretty, because auditions start on Saturday for the annual idiot-fest that is
Big Brother, so the whole city will be peopled with brash, self-obsessed idiots.
Endemol, the company behind the show, have helpfully released this montage of previous contestants. Perhaps those wishing to be on the next series could study this shit-stick of a clip and copy certain parts in order to be guaranteed a place on the show.
For the rest of us, it's an opportunity to say "Oh, I'd forgotten that plastic Gangsta," "There's that violent Scottish prick with the shit hair," and "I wonder if the stalky one is in prison yet?"
Clearly the best bit is Ginger Tim with his solemn view, "I'm lucky that I've got the (pause) personality that I think I can win it."