THE GOOD THE BAD THE V. UGLY

GOOD:

Dave Grohl being a fucking ace all round bloke.

BAD:

Being grumbled about by Kimberely Stewart's PR for putting some story about her show being a bit rubbish in the mailout.

GOOD:

Kanye West looking not unlike a wally in fancy dress, playing that rubbish song that samples Curtis Mayfield but erasing all that by having a blow up bear the size of Nottingham.

BAD:

Babyshambles. Just fucking dreadful. Seriously, all you drippy twats cheering at the front - you will be ashamed of yourselves in 18 months time. There is more talent and mystery in my bellend (so I'm told obv).

GOOD:

Jack Tweed (racist boyfriend of Jade Goody) getting thrown out of VIP by three (THREE?!) security guards. Not for drugs, not for lairy behaviour, not for anything other than "being a shit reality cunt". V Staff - Good work.

BAD:

A toss up between the idiotic group of twats who had their photographs put on huge flags so they wouldn't lose each other or the guy wandering around the VIP bar saying, "Swap an E for a fag?"

Quote of yesterday from the not unposh Jodie Kidd:

"Yar it's lie cool, but the other year I was invited to stand on the side of the stage and watch Coldplay - lit er ally A.Fucking.Mazing."

She may have said something else but I couldn't see her mouth for all the plums. Poor love had a cold as well. She must have done - she kept sniffing and rubbing her nose.

Other spots - Peaches Geldof with no one dancing (again), Steve Jones without a woman hanging off his penis, Alex Zane in a hat and Gail Porter covering up her big, shiny bonce with a ridiculous chain mail hat thing.

Hurray for celebrities.