GOTH ON HOLIDAY

Perhaps one reason you rarely see goths getting married is that old perennial problem about where to go on honeymoon. After all, if you've spent a lifetime cultivating a pale and wan exterior (or at least since the age of 14 which is when doctors reckon the goth gene kicks in) you're unlikely to travel to a sun-kissed beach as you might burst into flames or even more likely, just look ridiculous when your eyeliner sweats off.

That was the problem facing Uber-Emos Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz after their wedding last weekend. Transylvania is too far away, the Pere Lachaise cemetery in Paris is full of tourists these days and Leeds just isn't glamorous enough. So the pair have hit on the ideal location for a goth honeymoon – their basement. Or perhaps they're merely joking with us, what with Pete grinning and declaring that the pair are having sun bed sessions together.

"We're in the basement of the house. We wanted everybody to think we were going on a honeymoon… We've got some blow-up palm trees down here… a little fake and bake tanning booth. It's gonna look like we went on a private jet somewhere and we're gonna save that $30,000. We're eating DiGiorno's pizza, getting into that tanning bed every once in a while, it's great."

What a crazy couple! You've got to love that fantastic goth sense of humour. As if they'd use a sun bed and risk the heat warping his vintage 'Sisters of Mercy' albums…