WHICH IS NICE…

Angelina Jolie must be getting bored waiting for those twins to arrive. After all, the rest of us were bored about seven months ago, yet still no sign of the golden pair popping out. Angelina may take some comfort in the welcome she has been given by the people of France and in particular the Mayor of Nice, who has engaged in such a massive bout of toadying that he surely should be up for some brown-nosing award.

For such a star to give birth in a Nice hospital is a huge bonus for the region, he reckons (well, the paparazzi must be out a fortune on hotel bills and helicopter fuel anyway). Playing with his rubbish tricoleur mayoral ribbon and oozing his way around the feet of the world's press, Mayor Christian Estrozi smarmed,

"That is for the citizens of Nice a very great honor and a great satisfaction. We are very happy for this choice of Mrs. Angelina Jolie and Mr. Brad Pitt and I want to say to them that I wish a lot of joy to them and the babies, and great success for all of their lives. All their lives they will be Nicois and all their life they will be able to come to Nice and we will receive them with great honour."

What will Mr Mayor do for an encore? Lie on their front step like a welcome mat and make an attempt to lick their shoes clean as they pass?