WOMB RAIDER

Heartiest congratulations go out to Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, who after a pregnancy lasting several years (and enough to make an elephant's gestation look hasty) have finally become the proud parents of twins (one of each sex) on Saturday.

Thankfully they have managed not to go too far down the ridiculous name route (aka 'doing a Geldof') and have settled for the moderately sensible names of Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline. I did say 'moderately' after all. Michael Sussman, who performed the Caesarean section, emerged grinning into the Nice sunshine (and why shouldn't he, he'd just spent hours staring at Angelina's bits) and made a speech which made him sound like the father...

"The babies are doing well. The operation went just perfectly. Angelina is in very good spirits. Brad Pitt was at her side. He was there and all was well. The mother and father are very, very happy."

Running the risk of sounding dull, best wishes to the pair, on the birth of their fifth and sixth children, making the breakfast table look more like the barracks of a UN peace-keeping force. And remember, after the birth of Shiloh they had the decency to flog the pictures to a glossy mag but then donate the money to charity, so they're a lot better than a lot of celebrity couples who have spawned this year.

And a fair bit better than the Mayor of Nice, who immediately held a press conference and displayed copies of the birth certificates, the weirdo. Mayor Christian Estrosi should enjoy his few minutes in the limelight, because it's back to assessing planning permission for house extensions after this, mate.