NARCOTIC NEUROTIC

Amy Winehouse's place in history is assured as the woman who invented a cure for cancer and the first woman to set foot on Mars. Oh, and for the fact that she doesn't take drugs. Because that's the incredible claim that has sheepishly shuffled from between those coffin-lid teeth.

Once again. Amy Winehouse insists that she doesn't take drugs.

(Channeling Marks & Spencer voice): This is the Amy Winehouse who was hospitalised after a drug overdose in August. But she doesn't take drugs.

This is the Amy Winehouse who was arrested in Norway for possession of marijuana. But she doesn't take drugs.

This is the drug-free Winehouse who was speaking to Blender magazine when she made the claim that she doesn't take drugs.

This is the Amy Winehouse who fell asleep three times during the interview with Blender magazine.

This is the Amy Winehouse who said, "I take, like, anti- ... I take stuff for my depression. Prescriptive stuff. But I don't take it.

"I don't have the time [for drugs]... I'm a really big drinker. I used to be there before the pub opened, banging on the door." And never, repeat never, at any time taking drugs. Well I believe her. And as Chris Morris pointed out, alcohol isn't a drug, it's a drink.

Poor Blake Fielder-Flatcap has been moved to the hospital wing of Pentonville prison as a precaution after a weekend of unwanted attention at the hands of the other inmates.

Why put him on the hospital wing? He's not the type to be wanting drugs either, is he?