End Of The W(h)ine?

Amy Winehouse may be planning to hang up the beehive, fold away those tits like stretch-marked pig bladders and leave the world of music behind, all in order to be a good little wifey.

When Buddy Holly perished in a plane crash, the tragedy so affected Don MacLean that he wrote a song about "the day the music died". Where is Britain's equivalent to mark the passing of our queen of shit teeth and tattoos? Is Chesney Hawkes still available?

"I don't want to be ungrateful. I know I'm talented, but I wasn't put here to sing. I was put here to be a wife and a mum and look after my family," the shaved poodle in a fright wig told 'Rolling Stone' magazine.

Shut the fuck up and get on with it then, scarecrow! And remember, baby powder goes on the infant's arse, not up your hooter.