DAILY AMY UPDATE

US Immigration has declined a visa for Amy Winehouse to enter the country and perform at the Grammy Awards. Officially, they have made no comment other than to say that they will not talk about individual decisions, but sources within the department might have mentioned the fact that her recent concerts have been rubbish and that it would take a small army of Immigration Officers to check through that back-combed orphan hair for illegal substances.

Of course, Amy was arrested for possession of a controlled substance last year in Norway, and there have been various allegations made in the UK press over her drug habits, so the US may feel threatened by such a reputation, being the country which gave us clean-living types like Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain and Mickey Mouse.

As with most immigration decisions, Amy has the right to appeal, but it looks like she will choose to stay in the UK and concentrate on growing her beehive into such epic proportions that the only way she will be able to cross the Atlantic is via a specially-shaped hot air balloon. Or, as her publicist pointed out,

"Amy has been progressing well since entering a rehabilitation clinic two weeks ago and although disappointed with the decision has accepted the ruling and will be concentrating on her recovery."

Or in other words, "Fuck off, I was busy anyway." Good on her. Amy may be a fuck up, but she's OUR fuck up. And if anyone on the Grammy organising panel is reading, we still have James Blunt and Sting who can perform at the event, and as an added bonus you can keep them afterwards. No really. We insist.

EDIT: Amy is reported to be performing at the Grammys ceremony via a satellite link-up. It's not known whether the link-up will be from her rehab clinic or not.