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THE 2012 OLYMPIC CEREMONY WILL INCLUDE...
ANNIE LENNOX AND M PEOPLE
MORRIS DANCING AND KANO
BINGE DRINKING AND BORIS JOHNSON IN A TURBAN
SACRED COWS

The Arctic Monkeys See the Darkness? See how popular they were, but then they released their second album and everyone realised they don't want two joke 80s hair metal albums? THAT'S YOU! You are this year's fad, your second album will flop. No one wants two sub-Jarvis / Mike Leighesque albums that one have ONE GOOD FUCKING SONG ON THEM.

And please leave those fucking accents where they belong, 30 FUCKING YEARS IN THE PAST, no one in Sheffield speaks like that any more, the way those cunts go on you'd think we were all still working the fucking coal face, racing whippets and drinking stout. CUNTS!

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