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THE 2012 OLYMPIC CEREMONY WILL INCLUDE...
ANNIE LENNOX AND M PEOPLE
MORRIS DANCING AND KANO
BINGE DRINKING AND BORIS JOHNSON IN A TURBAN
SACRED COWS

Sylvester McCoy Where to begin - Mr McCoy you succesfully played a scary peado on Vision On and fuelled my nightmares for years. You are the only one of the superheroic 'O' Men who didn't take a shotgun to his chin. You completely fucked up Doctor Who with an acting style that would have baffled William Shatner and then you played cuddly one legged kidnapper and sex offender Michael Sams on Channel 5's opening night. I salute you simply because you still have a career!

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