THE HEROES
| The Department of Health | For introducing the smoking ban and encouraging the saving of an estimated 40,000 lives, over the next ten years. |
| TMF on freeview | For reminding me why its great to live in the UK (Pimp my Ride, Rock of Love, Date my Mom, Rad Girls etc) |
| Takeshi's Castle | Just watch it. You'll see. |
| The Daily Mash | Easily the most amusing daily read. |
| Tony Soprano | For giving fat, middle aged balding men hope of shagging young fit girls, albeit fictitious. |
| Ted Levine | Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs, Monk's boss, and the inspiration for the voice of Chris on Family Guy. Has more charisma in his moustache than the majority of the more famous and overpaid A-listers he has to play second fiddle to. |
| the coen brothers | 'cos i just watched that no country for old men. you two spoil me. you really do |
| The women on 'im married to the eiffel t | For being gloriously insane. One of them got thrown out of church for shagging a church organ called paul, she was also in love with a fairground ride. One of the others liked fences |
| The bird from the zutons | I don't give a fuck about their music I've been busy slobbering over her pins in their video. And I reckon she'd take it up the wrong un. |
| Tony Benn | Decent. Honest. Principled. Respectable. Dignified. Experienced. Competent. The greatest prime-minister we never had. Who do we get instead...Blair and Brown. Cunts. Shame on Britain. |
| Too much warmth. | My balls have stuck to my leg. |
| The laydeh HM poster | One doesn't often come across a woman with such a keen sense of humour since most of 'em are too wrapped up with the latest fashions or Sex and The City, describing themselves as 'bubbly'. I'll bet my weight in porno mags that she's a minx in the sack. Please don't turn out to be an overweight munter with eleventeen screaming urchins at your side whilst you sit entrenched upon a sofa puffing away at a fag during Corrie. That would destroy my image of you as the slinky sex kitten, dressed in black and employing the sophisticated gait of a Frenchwoman with a rabid taste for oysters. Your rich father who owns a condom factory would also think I'm fuckin' marvelous. |
| The brothers in 'Brothers and Sisters' | How many times can I flick it off thinking of you? Oh let me count the ways.. |
| Tim Vine | Funniest fucker around. "I bought a boomerang off a ghost, I thought 'that'll come back to haunt me'". Fucking genius. |
| The HM interviewer | For taking a very sneaky look at Jennifer's tits when interviewing her. sly dog. |
| Thriller re-release | For the voiceover "and now a behind-the-scenes treat with Michael and producer Quincy Jones". |
| The Church in Kentish Town | is there any better way to spend a sunday??! |
| The Pork Pie Appreciation Society | They meet regularly to rate pork pies, marking them out of ten. They also cover world events - an example is below: World Events Peter’s Birthday Today. 58 And Does Not Look A Day Over 48. ( Peter Is Writing This) John Is A Grandad. Avy ( Girl) 6lb 11oz. I.d. Theft – Jeremy Clarkson And Chairman Of Barclay’s Get Stung For £500 And £10000 Respectively. Sir Edmund Hiliary,First Man On Everest. Dies At 88 Years. Hiliary Clinton Makes A Comeback. Asda Will Fine People For Using Disabled Parking Spaces. Parking Fines Are To Go Up. Its dynamite. http://www.porkpieclub.com/ |
| The Bible | Just kidding! Total bollocks innit. |
| The Holy Moly Interview Man | Despite being an extra (In Doctor Who (Which makes me a Cunt for noticing)), he is both hilarious and hot. So there. |