THE HEROES
| Max Moseley | So you have an S+M orgy with hookers in uniform with a slight nod to the Nazi look (worked for Bowie) get exposed by the NOTW yet still keep your job and win damages clearing your name. Fantastic if i were you i'd celebrate by getting in a few hookers and oh er... |
| Maggie Gyllenhaal | Infinitely more talented and sexy than Katie Holmes. Makes me wonder why the fuck she wasn't cast in the first place. I'd love to clean out her bat cave. |
| Mark Cavandish | I'm sure non of you miserable, single minded, copy the view of the majority, wankers will even know who this is but, he did this country proud yesterday and he deserves an accolade. Even if it is a post on a wanky celeb gossip site. Congratulations Cav, only 23 and you've won a stage in the hardest race on Earth. |
| Max Mosley | 'I would far rather do that (be spanked) than, for example, jump into a cold swimming pool' |
| M&S | For the NewYorker gourmet sandwich........ ITS THE FUCKING DADDY !!! |
| Marco Pierre White | Don't know what the programme was called but he made Rabbit stockpot for a load of people and this little shit of a young girl was a bit upset because she had a pet rabbit. His response? "Don't worry. We'll cook it when it's dead". Genius. Makes Ramsay look like a sold out cunt. |
| Michael O'Leary, boss of Ryanair | Read the news... |
| Michael Emerson | AKA Ben from Lost. Can deliver a single line with more emotion and talent than anyone on tv could do in a whole series. |
| My fat friend Stacey | For making me look skinny XmwahX |
| Mario Kart | Don't give a shit what console it's on, it's one of the best multiplayers of all time, along with Golden Eye and group sex. |
| Mars Planets | You delicious balls of chocolate delight, each one perfection |
| Myspace / Bebo | For keeping a huge percentage of the teenage population, indoors. Out of our way. |
| My mother | for being bloody marvellous and looking after me for all them years when i was a kid. |
| Monty Panesar | Doing more for Race Relations than any Government 'think tank' staffed by middle class, white do-gooders could manage in a lifetime. Regularly goes back to the club he played for as a kid to help out with coaching and a genuinely humble, decent bloke. So much could be learned from him. Also, one of the best left-arm spin bowlers on the planet and sure to end his career as one of the all time greats. |
| Mark Ronson | He could well be eligible for the corner, but purely based on his photo in last weekend's Observer music mag I could happily slather him with warm honey and spend a contented evening licking it off |
| Marathon runners | Because your dedication should be an utter inspiration to this shameful society. |
| Max Mosley | Last week: A tedious old bastard who presided over a boring motorsport. This week: In the papers playing "Concentration Camp" with a load of prossies. Best public image overhaul since Frank Bough? I think so. |
| MGMT | i'm sure this will get loads of shit for them being a trendy band. but they're pretty soothing when you've got the come down from hell. and a spliff. |
| most gossip websites | Thank you for mocking Patrick Swayze's for having terminal cancer, I'm finally appalled to the extent that I can abandon you and get some work done. |
| mopsa | "who the hell let Andrew Lloyd Webber out of Royston Vasey?" spot on. |