THE HEROES
| Chelsea Clinton | She is now officially hot. Who the fuck could have predicted that? |
| Chris Morris | Plenty of reasons, but should be in here only on the strength of having invented the phrase "have some self re-cocking-spect". |
| Charlie Brooker | For his descruption of what he fear the London Olympic Opening Ceremony will be: Six roman candles, Bernie Clifton riding his ostrich, and some Britain's Got Talent prick-a-ma-boob beatboxing on a trampoline. |
| Cheryl Cole | I would crawl naked throught barrel after barrel of broken glass, just to stick matches in her shit... |
| Chainsaw Maid | Strangely sexy and kills zombies in cool ways. Nuff said. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6d-tNXxTRBA |
| Chris Hoy | wins his third gold medal of the games, setting new records left and right. and the first thing he does when interviewed? lavishes praise on the british guy that came in second, saying he's a shoe-in for 2012. what a class bloke. |
| Cheryl Cole | I would do unspeakable things to her bumhole. |
| Chris Hoy | The real McCoy!! |
| Cling film | Now the missus can shit on my face and I get all the warmth but none of the stink on my skin! I can even make a little well for my mouth!! Can't believe I didn't think of it sooner. |
| Channel 4 | For the Stanley Kubrick season advert. Sheer quality |
| Claire Nasir gmtv | I'd like to have my cake and eat her. |
| Chris Evans | Yes, I know most people think he's a cunt, but you have to admit that TFI Friday was compulsive viewing when it started, as was The Big Breakfast. The only decent Brits was the one he hosted a few years back. Plus, he turned Billie Piper from that brat who sang Beacuse We Want To, into the horny fucker who did The Miller's Daughter. |
| Claudia WInkleman | Those eyes! |
| Coldplay | I can't stop playing their new album because it's actually excellent and you can all go and fuck yourselves |
| Charlie Brooker | Because even though it was ages ago his description of Maxwell from one of the BBs is simple, beautiful and succint 'a clipping from Nuts magazine slowly spinning in a fetid urinal' |
| Coldplay | Thank you for providing us with something to agree about. |
| Chad Kroeger | In the 'who would be the first person you kill if murdering was legal?' poll, Chad always comes out on top. Good work Chad. |
| Crunchy Nut Cornflakes | What the fuck do they coat these in - cocaine? I can't stop eating them!! |
| Chanelle (er out of Big Brother and that | I never thought that i would say this but three cheers for Chanelle for finally fucking off to the states where no doubt she'll be most likely getting her growler out at some point in the future for a series of jazz films after she falls on her arse. Good work love now fuck off! |
| Charlton Heston | for exposing the common HolyMolian as the leftist, ultra-liberal, middle class cunt they truly are. Charlton Heston wasn't one of those 'mad gun-toting Americans', or a figurehead of fashionable America-bashing. He was a champion of freedom and liberty, and campaigned for a greater good. Cunts the lot of you! He was actually a great, brave man – often doing his own stunts. |