| You would sleep with Kari Byron, but you're not sure why.
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| Hypocrisy is the vaseline of political intercourse
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| Porn is too loud.
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| Men are not very good at listening
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| Every English sports person that never wins will at some point be called "plucky"
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| The chariot race from Ben Hur is proof that road rage has been with us for years.
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| No student actually knows what G.C.S.E stands for, despite spending half their time doing them...
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| We need to introduce pub fights as an Olympic sport. Come on Seb, you know it makes sense!
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| Blake Aldridge should have beaten the shit out of that over-confident, precocious, annoying, toothy, breathy-voiced, faux-posh little cunt Tom Daley on live TV, I would then personally have demanded he be given a medal
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| normal isn't normal anymore
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| You can physically experience the term 'viscious circle' if you eat a mars bar while taking a shit.
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| If the good always die young, Kerry Katona must be immortal.
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| As soon as the football season starts, half the UK population will stop caring about the Olympics
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| Now that Cheryl Cole is a judge every straight man in Britain is considering entering X-Factor.
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| Multi-packs rarely contain premium product
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| Only Chav's shop at Tesco's
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| 70% of people who make up percentages are cunts
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| Rock is not a verb
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| HD is better than your own actual eyes.
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| Media build-up to the start of a new Premiership season must always feature the phrase "The Big Kick-Off!"
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