| Nobody ever discusses last night’s TV by the office watercooler.
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| Beetlejuice is never as funny as you remembered it to be
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| you can learn more about football than alan hanson, ian wright, and the entire BBC pundit team combined, simply by playing on Football Manager
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| When someone is described as being anal, everyone sniggers inside.
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| When you are hungover - you are one of two things:
1. Starving
2. Vomitty
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| Trying to sneak silently into the house late at night when completely hammered is like trying to blow out a fire with a can of hairspray.
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| Monday is horrible if it coincides with come-down day.
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| All men secretly enjoy the following: 1. Getting their hair cut very short 2. using a large, coarse towel 3. Wearing really, REALLY shiny shoes.
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| The smoking ban has given each and every pub a street advert. Simply look at the demigraphic of smokers gathered outside to decide whether its the place for you.
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| Karma is gambling for pansies.
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| do nudists wank over pictures of fully clothed people?
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| Everyone knows that Arguido is Portuguese for suspect.
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| It is impossible to quietly empty a dishwasher
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| Only women think that Keira Knightley is attractive to men.
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| It is a futile manoeuvre to try and transfer a microwave lasagne from its plastic tray on to a plate without compromising its structural integrity.
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| When looking through family photo albums, you will always find a sepia toned picture of a young boy in a sailor suit. Always.
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| It's impossible to use a USB flash drive without feeling a bit like Jason Bourne.
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| Kate McCanns MILF percentage has probably dropped by around a third by now.
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| Any movie car chase down a side street/alleyway will result in at least one of the cars being stopped by a reversing truck/garbage loader.
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| You will always feel more guilty wanking over Paula Yates then Marilyn Monroe.
I do anyway.
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