| Beauty, brains, availability, personality; pick any two.
|
|
| It's all very well and good researching into global warming; do places, boats or cars make more pollution? I think we all know the real answer: fucking ice cream vans leaving their engines on.
|
|
| Safety instructions on BBQ lighting fluid have never been read
|
|
| You can't say "Pacific rim" at a meeting without a little giggle
|
|
| No one has a WKD side.
|
|
| you can lead a horse to water.
|
|
| The difference between good sex and bad sex is about 3 inches
|
|
| The probability of spilling food down yourself is proportional to the importance of the rest of the day.
|
|
| having had a dream, ONCe, about your mum giving you a blow job doesn't make you a freak.
does it?
|
|
| The difference between animal lover and mentalist is 3 cats
|
|
| Every man should have his back waxed, just once. Its a revelation akin to seeing the earth from space.
|
|
| The difference between a wife and a girlfriend is about about 3 shags a week.
|
|
| The difference between a husband and a boyfriend is about 3 stone.
|
|
| 'Real people' in bathroom-cleaner adverts will always have filthy brown surfaces which haven't been cleaned for weeks. Their toilets, however, will always be completely free of floaters and skidmarks.
|
|
| If it's advertised on LivingTV it's unlikely that this is the qualification which will change your career and/or life
|
|
| When women's magazines say it's beneficial to share your fantasies with your partner, they don't mean the ones about having a pet predator or picking folk off with a sniper rifle.
|
|
| The difference between a dog and a fox is 4 pints
|
|
| The two things that never stop being funny are streakers and dogs hanging out of car windows
|
|
| Everyone has had a dream before that they will never ever tell anyone about.
|
|
| The funniest thing ever is a dog in sunglasses
|
|
