| the longevity of your mobile phone battery is determined by how important the call you are waiting for or making/receiving at the time it runs out.
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| There is no finer feeling than pulling some 10 denier stockings on to freshly waxed legs.
I dont know how women feel about this.
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| There is, an as yet undiscovered sensor in the back of your mouth that kicks in after 10 minutes if you have left a cup of tea down somewhere with out finishing it.
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| When attempting to bench-press your own bodyweight, having the song 'I Wanna Be Somebody' by WASP playing in your MP3 player will ensure you achieve your goal.
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| no man should own a Dido album
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| People will admit to things on HM that they would never admit to even their closest friends, e.g. fancying Kate McCann, dreaming about being blown by their mum, enjoying inserting a digit into their own anus during masturbation, etc.
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| No male should ever say the word "horrid"
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| The song 'Baggy Trousers' by Madness says all that will ever need to be said about going to school in Britain in the 1970's and 80's.
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| It is impossible to turn off a tap designed after1987 with wet hands
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| The first time you experience massive boobs out of a bra is one of the most dissapointing things any man will have to go through.
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| Only in the tabloids is a crime scene "swarming" with police.
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| Anyone driving around Heathrow Airport looking for Long-Stay Parking will have a a slight fear of taking a wrong turn onto a runway
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| The only way that you can effectively hang up on someone when using a mobile is if it's a flip phone. Fact.
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| Every school had a kid with some sort of facial deformity. Ours was affectionately tagged 'Spudnose'
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| just as nobody suspects the spanish inquisition, nobody expects Destiny's Child to write a song about being raped by your step-dad. However, The Story Of Beauty confounds us all
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| No matter what time of day or what channel its on ,whenever you tune in to 'Ross Kemp on Gangs' ,its always the one about the Maori gangs in New Zealand.
Ditto for 'Real Football Factories' & the Turks.
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| The basic premise of Hollyoaks is that fit girls are attracted to total wankers. In recognising this, it says more about real life than any number of academic texts musing on the meaning of existence.
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| The One Show....when scraping the barrel just isn't enough
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| Nothing is creepier than twins over 13 who still wear matching clothes.
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| Sponsors of research into how much work time is wasted by surfing the net... save your grant money. Simply check out Holy Moly's 'The Board' and note that the huge amount of activity here stops at 5.30pm on the dot. Any activity after this time is from workers who get paid for overtime.
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