| the kid at school who could ride a bike without using his hands is now the man who drives a nova sr and listens to bassline
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| If you swear in front of your mum, you always feel a bit naughty. Unless you're a member of the Osbourne family, or common.
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| No man can resist pissing on the toilet feshener...
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| Women like Jackie Chan but they wouldn't shag him.
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| Those of us who don't work in advertising always wonder whether it wouldn't be easier and more likely to attract customers to just spend the advertising budget on doing stuff better
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| Jade Goody has a bicep in each cheek.
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| AC/DC is the only band worth listening to on a late friday afternoon.
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| Most people have tried to suck a poo back up their bottom.
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| Any man who is carrying a record bag while wearing a suit was once the owner of dreadlocks
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| Regardless of how shocking the ITV vote rigging scandal was, nothing will shock you more than the revelation that the public actually voted for Catherine Tate.
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| When folowing someone through a building with multiple doors it is aways uncomfortable saying thank you from the third occasion onwards that they hold the door open for you.
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| You feel like an absolute prick when you wave back at someone who wasn't actually waving at you.
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| Nobody ever listens to Sarah Beeny
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| 99% of women buy cucumbers for salads not for make shift dildos as first suspected by any man in the veg isle in tesco.
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| it's best not to tell your colleague how much you want to fuck the new office temp until you're absolutely, positively, 100% certain the two of them aren't related.
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| Women will always pointlessy wave their hand in front of their eyes when trying not to cry
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| NME will have relaunched again or closed by this time next year.
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| People who use the nice weather as a valid excuse to sit outside and drink beer, will always find another excuse to get pissed once it starts raining
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| Christmas Decorations will be available in B&Q by the end of the month
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| Women will always pointlessly wave their hand in front of their mouth if they eat something too hot.
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