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THE 2012 OLYMPIC CEREMONY WILL INCLUDE...
ANNIE LENNOX AND M PEOPLE
MORRIS DANCING AND KANO
BINGE DRINKING AND BORIS JOHNSON IN A TURBAN
THE CORNER

Torch bearer chooser Who chose this bunch ffs?

10.30am Steve Redgrave, running from Wembley Arena Square to Ladbroke Grove
11.10am Konnie Huq, running from Lancaster Road to Blenheim Crescent
11.28am Tim Henman, running from Notting Hill Gate, Campden Hill Road to Notting Hill Gate, Linden Gardens
11.56am Kirsty McWilliam, on a bike from North Carriage Drive, W2 to Marble Arch
12.06pm Sugababes, on bus from Marble Arch to Oxford Circus
12.29pm Clive Woodward, running from British Museum to Bloomsbury Street
12.50pm Denise Van Outen, running from Wardour Street to Piccadilly Circus
1.02pm Sir Trevor McDonald, running from Trafalgar Square to Whitehall
1.10pm Denise Lewis, running from Whitehall to Downing Street
1.22pm Kevin Pietersen, running from Bridge Street to Westminster Pier
1.27pm Vanessa Mae, on a boat from Westminster Pier to Festival Pier
2.32pm Amara Karan, running from Waterloo Bridge, south to Waterloo Bridge, north
2.35pm Zoe Salmon, running from Waterloo Bridge north to Somerset House, courtyard
2.57pm Kenny Logan, running from Fleet Street, Ludgate Circus to St. Paul’s Cathedral
3.02pm Ed Coode, running from St. Paul’s Cathedral to Cannon Street
4.04pm Gail Emms, running from Whitechapel Road, east of Davenant to Stratford, Great Eastern Street Road opp Meridian Square,
4.25pm Francesca Martinez, running from Stratford, Great Eastern Road to corner of Oxford Road
4.31pm Tessa Sanderson, running from Stratford, The Grove to Stratford Broadway
5.10pm Duncan Goodhew, running from South Colonnade to Cabot Square
5.18pm Ellen MacArthur, on a boat from West Ferry Circus, Canary Wharf Pier to Pier Jetty
5.49pm Danny Crates, running from QE II Pier to The Queen’s Walk
5.52pm Theo Walcott, running from The Queen’s Walk to Edmund Halley Way, East Parkside
5.54pm Dame Kelly Holmes, running from Edmund Halley Way to Peninsula Square

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COMMENTS
Kitty on Sun 06 April 2008 said...
They could at least have had a bit of cabaret involved, ie Heather Mills running from South Colonnade to Cabot Square with comedy leg flying off toward the end, sending her sprawling to the floor as the dropped Olympic flame sets fire to her hair, enveloping her screaming body in a maelstrom of flames. Alternatively choose non entities like Denise Van Outen, Sir Trevor McDonald or the Sugarbabes. Oh. They did.
teehee on Sun 06 April 2008 said...
i dont think anyone actually gives a fuck. fuckin olympics.
ahknowme on Sun 06 April 2008 said...
An pampered panel of witless arseholes, obviously.
ahknowme on Sun 06 April 2008 said...
A
SaleoftheCentury on Mon 07 April 2008 said...
I really hope that you have cut and pasted that little lot...
Sable on Mon 07 April 2008 said...
Besides which - Trevor McDonald - eight minutes to get from Trafalgar Square to Whitehall? Last time I did that journey it was one in the morning and I'd just been thrown out of Albannach, pissed as a fart, and even with weaving across the bloody road and having to prevent a friend from taking a piss in the fountains, I still made it in less time than that. Old cunt.
kwebb on Mon 07 April 2008 said...
And why the hell have they got that cunt who did Footloose involved?
ComradeDuch on Mon 07 April 2008 said...
Much as I'd like to fuck Keisha Sugababe from gullet to arsehole, using the bus for a 1/2 mile journey in 15 minutes is pretty weak. On the plus side, it shows they don't have much constitution so I don't have to last too long.
DKP4 on Mon 07 April 2008 said...
I'd like to bang Zoe Salmon. The rest? Meh.
slinkybackrinkadink on Mon 07 April 2008 said...
Steve Redgrave? Only four Olympic medals; what a cunt he must be.
Barbersmith on Tue 08 April 2008 said...
Kitty - thankyou for making me almost piss myself.
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