Slim Fast Advert - Celebrities & Other things we don't like

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Slim Fast Advert	I've taken the time to write out the lyrics for you: Fruity, tootie, now my jeans fit my booty. Gooey, heaven, yummy food 24/7. Tick, tock, smoothies and shakes totally rock. Walking, tall, i like that mirror on the wall. Funky, monkey, gimme a chocolate bar that's chunky. Oi, boy, losing weight i can enjoy. Slim happy all the way. Does somebody want to explain to me what part of that makes any sense whatsoever? I realise fat people are not the most intelligent people around but this takes the piss. I hope the quim who came up with this is ashamed of themselves.

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COMMENTS

		dandyboy on Wed 28 May 2008 said... What a steaming pile of cunt.
		dandyboy on Wed 28 May 2008 said... The lyrics that is, not the OP.
		dewie on Wed 28 May 2008 said... Thanks OP for reminding me how angry that advert makes me. I haven't seen it for ages and had suppressed the memory but now I am so enraged I have smeared my own faeces on my pc screen. Thank you very much.
		RightRoyalBastard on Wed 28 May 2008 said... Fat people should all be spayed...and possibly killed. They cause climate change you know. Fact.
		McCrack on Wed 28 May 2008 said... Why dont people who want to slim fast just do fuckloads of base and not eat?
		jnewco81 on Wed 28 May 2008 said... That advert is a load of bollocks. I hope the people responsible get attacked by a Chunky Funky Monkey
		OhGod on Wed 28 May 2008 said... Good call RRB, so should those disgusting size zero, bulimic, anorexic twats.
		cowman on Wed 28 May 2008 said... A true cunt of an advertisment,makes me VERY ANGRY..............rage
		Norman on Wed 28 May 2008 said... Sounds like it was wrote by Kate Nash
		tigerstail on Wed 28 May 2008 said... Booty means arse you know. IN FUCKING AMERICA !!! Media cunts
		MrBeefy on Wed 28 May 2008 said... The size zeros should be pulped to make paper, indirectly saving Sting's beloved rainforest.
		kalvaza on Wed 28 May 2008 said... Apparently these are one of those adverts that are so bad, people think they're hilariously ironic to sing them constantly. Suddenly the arm flailing Sugar Puffs kid doesn't seem too bad.
		Fecker on Wed 28 May 2008 said... Fucker, cunter, what a complete munter.
		Topguntop on Wed 28 May 2008 said... yes yes the advert is cack, but OP, you don't need me to tell you that you've done something unspeakabley cunty in actually writing out the lyrics. Fair point though.
		randomboo on Wed 28 May 2008 said... Fat people are cunts.
		Geushky on Wed 28 May 2008 said... The word 'quim' is not used as often as it should be.
		MonkeyNuts on Wed 28 May 2008 said... I can't believe no-one has pointed out the cuntiness of having listened hard enough to be able to type out the lyrics.
		MonkeyNuts on Wed 28 May 2008 said... Gueshky I stated it as a fave word on the main board today...could have used your support THEN.
		Geushky on Wed 28 May 2008 said... Sorry MonkeyNuts I was busy being a cunt in my own workplace. I've submitted 'quim' within a ROML although I doubt it will get past the Monkey. Go Team Quim!
		DannyDodd on Wed 28 May 2008 said... I always think of that bird in the supermarket when she walks past the slimfast when i see that ad. She must just shudder and walk away. I hope it ruins her day and she jumps off of a cliff.
		littleleopard82 on Thu 29 May 2008 said... i go weight watchers dont I .....love spending £5.50 a week to be told "u've stayed the same " or " u've put on 3lbs " ......RIGHT ROYAL .... I THINK I NEED SOME CORRECTION !
		hijodeputa on Thu 29 May 2008 said... Everybody who isn´t an absolutely normal size, whether fat or thin should be lined up against the wall and shot. Then we can start on the ones who´s religious or political beliefs don´t tally with the majority. Disabled, geriatric, foreign. Kill ém all and make the world a more tolerant place, with elbow room for all..... except for those with overly-pointy elbows, who will be killed too. And the short fuckers. Bastards. For further instruction, read Mein Kampf by A. Hitler you twats
		BobRoberts on Thu 29 May 2008 said... I think hijodeputa has wavered slightly from the original point here...
		PennyCentury on Thu 29 May 2008 said... Hijodeputa is spot on.
		ArmyDreamer on Thu 29 May 2008 said... I fucking detest this advert. Just sickens me everytime it's on.
		Geushky on Thu 29 May 2008 said... Quim...
		Bunglist on Thu 29 May 2008 said... nothing beats the lyrics to the um-bongo ad
		kwebb on Thu 29 May 2008 said... This advert is the BIGGEST bucket of crabs cunt ever. It appears to me that some advertising people spent 30 minutes to 1 hour writing words or phrases on a dry wipe board reference weight loss. They then spent 10 minutes making them rhyme in the same style an 8 year old writes a poem about something banale - like the beach. "We went to the beach, my whole class and the 'teach', oh look at this shell, the seaweed began to smell" etc. And annoying as it is - it gets stuck in my head so those fucknuts with the dry wipe board have won...arghhhh. plunges sharpened chop sticks in to head repeatedly (Please note Kwebb's book of verse will be available for purchase at the end of the tour in the cathedral bookshop, priced 1 pound..)
		MrsMoon on Thu 29 May 2008 said... Surely the biggest ballbags on the planet work in advertising....can i order 1, Kwebb? But i'd like a sample of your artistry first...
		kwebb on Thu 29 May 2008 said... MrsM - erm ok - here goes "Here is a little poem what I wrote, I like to kiss dogs on the throat, Chunky monkey, Slimming snacks make my hair spunky, Oi Boy, I've not left room for a saveloy"...Oh dear - the more retarded you try and write the more you look like you are trying to nick Kate Nash's act. There's a ROML..back to drawing board
		RavishingRickRude on Thu 29 May 2008 said... Sounds kinda catchy. I'll have to watch out for it.
		SpackoMcDribble on Thu 29 May 2008 said... They should bring back Barry Bethel, he was like a prototype Barry 'cillit bang' Scott
		RandySpooge on Thu 29 May 2008 said... I had a mate who remixed the Cillit Bang advert into a trance tune. It was terrible, but the reverb on Barry Scott's voice was superb. Made him seem almost ethereal. Next time I went to the shops, I certainly wasn't thinking about buying any Jif micro liquid! That my son, is commercialism in action.
		jacobsdad on Thu 29 May 2008 said... Here's one. "if your a fat cunt, I'll give you a clue, the way to weightloss is simple and true, do some excercise you fat ugly munter and stop eating chocolate, Big Tasty's, chips, pizza and drinking cheap fucking Rose wine. Get in the kitchen and cook some proper food". Or just to a load of Billy.
		nosensenofeeling on Thu 29 May 2008 said... I think I love kwebb a little bit
		RightRoyalBastard on Thu 29 May 2008 said... I don't shoot black people. I shoot fat people. Fuck me that rhymes, maybe I should work in advertising and dissappear up my own arsehole...
		catfood on Thu 29 May 2008 said... it's actually quite clever - the marketing villains have identified thier audience pretty fucking acurately considering yer average slim faster is going to be a single, 30 something, bridget jones quoting, crying on the stairs of a saturday night drinking ernst and gallo chardonnay, borderline neurotic, big boned lady who probably describes herself as 'bubbly' and 'fun loving' in the hundreds of online dating profiles she's filled out whilst at her crappy admin job - just the sort of person that might pepper thier rare conversations with the odd 'funky' and or 'booty' in order to appear with it. doesn't make it any less bleak and shit, butgive em some credit i reckon. no worse than that fucking silly carling ad with the faux "mates"...
		alwayswright on Thu 29 May 2008 said... Obviously written by some middle class uni graduate who thinks they are hip and on the pulse, when actually, they are a cunt!
		Geushky on Thu 29 May 2008 said... Quim...
		MrsMoon on Thu 29 May 2008 said... Kwebb, you are touched by genius...
		MrsMoon on Thu 29 May 2008 said... Will the ad men take this? "Flick, buzz, no shag coz i'm scuzz, ding dong, Cor! Dominino's man at my door, and now they are actually taking the wall down with a JCB as i am so enormous i cannot get out the conventional way through the door."
		HeroicDose on Thu 29 May 2008 said... Catfood, theses adverts probably appeal to the same people as the singing bingo adverts. "I'm on my way to play some bingo". No, no you're not. You're going in the fucking woodchipper, with the exit chute directed into the face of your parents, you singing chimps.
		fuckwit on Thu 29 May 2008 said... We should use fat people for fuel
		catfood on Thu 29 May 2008 said... http://data1.naurunappula.com/n/111/20007550961/gobe.jpg tho having said that, i'm a bit of a salad dodger myself.
		MonkeyNuts on Thu 29 May 2008 said... QUIM!
		FlangeMeister on Thu 29 May 2008 said... Ha,Geushky-I used quim when I launched off on one a few weeks back.HolyMoly,fucking pox-ridden slutbucket that he is-deleted it after a couple of hours.
		HeroicDose on Thu 29 May 2008 said... 10 litres of unleaded backfat please.
		FlangeMeister on Thu 29 May 2008 said... And you're quite correct,it's a most magnificent word.It should be like your best China,though-only used for those special occaisions.
		buzzybelew on Thu 29 May 2008 said... A pound of chinfat, my good man, a couple of bingo wings and, um...now let me see, have you got anything the cat can play with?
		Geushky on Thu 29 May 2008 said... FlangeMeister: Your comment is noted, I however always use best bone china and feel that the use of 'quim' should enhanced into common parlance. Go Team Quim!
		YaMaa on Thu 29 May 2008 said... OMG shurrup everyone... i personally think that is such an amazing commercial!!! I'm always singing along =D
		Tedbundy on Thu 29 May 2008 said... Hey I heard a rumour that no one laughs in a more infectious way as Stuart Hall did on 'It's a Knockout' in the 70's. I think he started and ended as a local presenter. Maybe he started it. Who knows? Who cares?
		Griffin on Thu 29 May 2008 said... Geushky - how do I go about joining Team Quim? Do I have to try to use quim in every sentence? I love the word quim. Quim.
		Geushky on Thu 29 May 2008 said... Griffin: As I mentioned above whilst I believe the use of 'quim' should enhanced into common parlance I do however feel that 3-times within a response is bordering on overuse. This distracts from the true essence of the word and should be resisted at all costs. It is for that reason that your application to join Team Quim has been rejected on this particular occasion. All your future responses will be monitored and if your use of the word has been assessed as appropriate you will be invited to join Team Quim (whatever that is) at a later date. Thank you for your support. (c) Team Quim
		batteredcodpiece on Thu 29 May 2008 said... "fat people are not the most intelligent people around" - well fuck you, I'm positively spherical and I'm Chichele Professor of Modern History in the University of Oxford.
		Belms on Thu 29 May 2008 said... Instead of the "Tick - tock" line I've heard: "Kick, Sway, crunchy cereals make my day" Or oral dribblings to that effect. (Bet yer fucking glad I mentioned that eh?)
		littleleopard82 on Thu 29 May 2008 said... what does quim mean ??
		Kitty on Thu 29 May 2008 said... A vagina.
		Barbersmith on Thu 29 May 2008 said... I used to think quim meant vaginal pubic hair, but was set right some years back. Kitty - feel free to say 'vagina' whenever you want. Oh, and that advert is ghastly.
		buzzybelew on Thu 29 May 2008 said... Terrible advert. Though I do like the dancing Brains one.
		Kitty on Thu 29 May 2008 said... Me too buzzy.... hums Rhythm is a Dancer whilst mouthing the word 'vagina' at Barbersmith through his window
		DickyM on Thu 29 May 2008 said... Quim rules
		FlashyVic on Thu 29 May 2008 said... Fat lasses dancimg in ads,always look like Snoopy dancing on top of his kennel. Which is a pity,'cos i'm partial to a bit of zatig honey, myself.
		FlashyVic on Thu 29 May 2008 said... Thats 'dancing' & 'zaftig'. I'm a thick cunt.
		Fecker on Thu 29 May 2008 said... "Rhythm is a Dancer" is a cunting pile of cack. What cunt brought that moronic noise of total wank back when it deserves to rot back in the early 90's from whence it came. Please flush it down the sewer with all the other shit.
		MrBeefy on Thu 29 May 2008 said... Vagina? Quim? wanks
		Kitty on Thu 29 May 2008 said... watches and takes pics hehehehe....
		MrBeefy on Thu 29 May 2008 said... Bad girl. checks internet for photos
		Kitty on Thu 29 May 2008 said... Don't worry, I won't put them on Facebook........ awaits the Beefy rage
		kwebb on Fri 30 May 2008 said... The guy who painted the kitchen windows of my mum and dad's extension when I was 17 said to his mate whilst he was working one Saturday afternoon - word for word I quote "Greg! Here - Greg, All joking aside, I reckon the two best songs in the world ever are Rhythm is a Dancer by Snap and Sad Dit Me by Enigma. Snap - because when it come out - the fat geezer Turbo soppy bollocks said - "I'm Serious As Cancer - when I tell ya Rhythm is a dancer" - and that week my nan died of cancer. And Enigma just coz I love it." This shit doesn't write itself...
		dandyboy on Fri 30 May 2008 said... I think Turbo Whatsit from Snap went to the same lyric school as Des'ree.
		kwebb on Fri 30 May 2008 said... He spit some funky ass shit on the mike I tell you - all of us at Eton agreed...
		Fecker on Fri 30 May 2008 said... Turbo Whatsit from Snap = cunt.
		kwebb on Sat 31 May 2008 said... Exhibit A Turbo B "The groove was quick but flick no stick, words I manifest, lyrics I lick." Exhibit B "Chuck D, Reverend Run, DMC, Dre, Cube, (even some Pac). It's a tough choice.
		Fecker on Sat 31 May 2008 said... All fucking utter bollocks.
		Dendiol on Sun 29 June 2008 said... I want to test my newly acquired AK47 on the 'advertising execs' who came up with this shit. All remaining bullets will be used on fatties who failed to use Slim Fast. Hope this fucking tedious Kate Nash lyric inspired shit doesn't spread any more.