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THE 2012 OLYMPIC CEREMONY WILL INCLUDE...
ANNIE LENNOX AND M PEOPLE
MORRIS DANCING AND KANO
BINGE DRINKING AND BORIS JOHNSON IN A TURBAN
THE CORNER

Relatives who buy you biographies Why fucking bother when you get the same result from reading Wikipedia for 10 minutes instead of 10 hours.

And why... WHY... would you possibly think I'd want to read the "life story" of a jug-eared, pizza faced, thieving pikey scouse, 2 year old cunt like Wayne "Good at football, bad to look at" Rooney.

I'm your fucking nephew - you should know me better, Auntie Cunt.

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