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My Neighbour	You might think that letting your dog shit in the long grass next to the car park is fucking harmless, but my strimmer disagrees, you lazy chav cunt.

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COMMENTS

		Bongomag on Sat 21 June 2008 said... Put some poison meat down for the cunt - and the dog too!
		BoxFizz on Sat 21 June 2008 said... OP has shit splattered face.
		IHateTomatoJuice on Sat 21 June 2008 said... Cut the dog some slack - you inform us that the owner is a chav, ergo it can be reasonably deduced that the source of the scatological scourge is the owner itself.
		MrBeefy on Sat 21 June 2008 said... Get one of those garden shredders and aim it at the cunt's window. Load up and take cover.
		washinglinethief on Sat 21 June 2008 said... Posting some shit through the neighbours letter box often helps to get the point across in these situations where tact and diplomacy are at a premium.
		BoxFizz on Sat 21 June 2008 said... Godfather style dog's head in the bed?
		buzzybelew on Sat 21 June 2008 said... Get the hoover out and fire it into his kids eyes. Hey Presto! Conjunctivitus!
		ahknowme on Sat 21 June 2008 said... Turdle-dash his car.
		washinglinethief on Sat 21 June 2008 said... Must be fun cleaning your strimmer after. Personally I would pop into his garden when he has hung the washing out.
		buzzybelew on Sat 21 June 2008 said... Taking kiddies underwear is illegal. Except in Thailand, where it's on the National Curriculum.
		BlartMonster on Sat 21 June 2008 said... I would spread dog shit everywhere he goes - door handles, car door handles, gate, the fucking lot. He might get the message. Have you actually tried talking to the fucker? Jaw jaw not headbutt, swift punch to the solar plexus and knee to the groin. Isn't that what Churchill said?
		KenBoonsmotorbike on Sat 21 June 2008 said... Attack the dog with the shit smeared strimmer, and then rub you neighbours' nose in the resulting mess.....
		libertyvalance2008 on Sat 21 June 2008 said... Churchill only ever says Owww Yesss...
		libertyvalance2008 on Sat 21 June 2008 said... On a lighter note, I once shat on the passenger seat of a car that my friend was trying to sell.
		Geushky on Sat 21 June 2008 said... LV: Makes a change from a tramp I suppose.
		TheDuke on Sat 21 June 2008 said... Dicky - Was a tramp you was trying to pull, sitting in the passenger seat?
		BlartMonster on Sat 21 June 2008 said... Lib - I once shat in a swimming pool in Florida when I was 'working' (you know what i mean) out there. It was a bit of a follow-through after all the crap yank junk food and piss awful 'beer'. Only one guy noticed and he kept schtum, good lad
		MrKite on Sun 22 June 2008 said... For owning a strimmer the cunt who posted it should eat the dog shite, all gardening is done with a hoe, and all people who still have the will to live don't garden anyway, OP you're a cunt and whatever you may think, those people aren't you're friends.
		HeroicDose on Sun 22 June 2008 said... OP, does this mean you are strimming communal grass areas? I bet you volunteered. It's also likely that you have a fondness for Jesus and making your own chutney.
		TheDuke on Sun 22 June 2008 said... Jesus, chutney and Holy Moly. Thats a serial killer waiting to happen.
		HeroicDose on Sun 22 June 2008 said... OP, do you also strim your mum's grassy knoll?
		washinglinethief on Sun 22 June 2008 said... Is making your own chutney a euphanism?
		BustySinclair on Sun 22 June 2008 said... If you got the mower out more often, you wouldn't need the strimmer, lazy pick.
		Geushky on Sun 22 June 2008 said... I have just layed a load of edging strips around my garden to give me a nice edge to strim up to. I realise this makes me a cunt but I now have a nice neat garden so I don't particularly care.
		HeroicDose on Sun 22 June 2008 said... Oh yeah Geushky? I just bought the Quimstrimmer 4000. Quim shrubbery has never looked so defined.
		Kitty on Sun 22 June 2008 said... Nothing wrong with a nice neat edge to quim up to Geushky.
		MrBeefy on Sun 22 June 2008 said... wanks
		TheDuke on Sun 22 June 2008 said... Kitty - its Gods day for fuck sake. no quim talk today and shame on you.
		TheDuke on Sun 22 June 2008 said... Same to you Beefy - put it away.
		MrBeefy on Sun 22 June 2008 said... Sorry, Duke. It's Kitty's fault, talking about quim the minx.
		dandyboy on Sun 22 June 2008 said... Not even if Beefy shouts out Oh God when he hits the vinegar strokes? Sounds like a form of worship to me.
		MrBeefy on Sun 22 June 2008 said... That's as close to religion as I get. Fucking cunt that it is. awaits smiting
		TheDuke on Sun 22 June 2008 said... I guess we have been given the gift of 'wank' and we should be thankful to the Lord. Continue with your business Beefy also pulls down trousers and does a little cock prayer
		dandyboy on Sun 22 June 2008 said... I think the lord probably came himself when he saw our creativeness in his name over on the Mother Teresa thread.
		TheDuke on Sun 22 June 2008 said... picks up phone to god yes, he was impressed Dandy. Though hes not sure what a "technicoloured cock ring" is.
		fatsamsgrandslam on Sun 22 June 2008 said... I aint got a problem with the dog, its the toolbag owner. The dog doesn't know. Some good (and bad) advice.
		kwebb on Sun 22 June 2008 said... I - beg - your - pardon, did my dog just shit in your garden?
		Kitty on Sun 22 June 2008 said... Forgive the 'Q' talk on God's holy day. I realise I should have said cunt instead....
		Kitty on Sun 22 June 2008 said... (and I should think Mother Teresa is spinning in her grave like a revolving door after reading that thread about her tits). (She CAN read from the other side, my gran told me).
		buzzybelew on Sun 22 June 2008 said... Kitty - Her eyes are just mouldy old sockets...
		buzzybelew on Sun 22 June 2008 said... ...but those lovely tits...
		HeroicDose on Sun 22 June 2008 said... They were like a pair of Noddy's hats.
		buzzybelew on Sun 22 June 2008 said... Empty.
		BoxFizz on Sun 22 June 2008 said... ...that feel like two dried out shrivelled mushrooms. I'm sure Buzzy would stilll give them a good suck.
		buzzybelew on Sun 22 June 2008 said... Only if they were still in the coffin.
		Geushky on Sun 22 June 2008 said... Next to the rotting quim.
		HeroicDose on Sun 22 June 2008 said... That's a quiminal offence
		Kitty on Sun 22 June 2008 said... Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa wees
		HeroicDose on Sun 22 June 2008 said... Passes Kitty a quimwipe
		Geushky on Sun 22 June 2008 said... watches
		libertyvalance2008 on Sun 22 June 2008 said... wanks
		Geushky on Sun 22 June 2008 said... stops watching
		libertyvalance2008 on Sun 22 June 2008 said... oh, dont bother about me. Anyway im off for a poo
		dandyboy on Sun 22 June 2008 said... where?
		BoxFizz on Sun 22 June 2008 said... Dicky's been gone a long time now - perhaps we need to get Bobby Brown to help him a la Witney style?
		buzzybelew on Sun 22 June 2008 said... He's looking for a tramp.
		libertyvalance2008 on Sun 22 June 2008 said... Hey box
		Kitty on Sun 22 June 2008 said... There he is!
		libertyvalance2008 on Sun 22 June 2008 said... where the fuck is everybody?
		Kitty on Sun 22 June 2008 said... We're hiiiiidiinnngggg in the cuuuupboarrrrrrrd.....
		libertyvalance2008 on Sun 22 June 2008 said... Hey kitty, want to play rome... Ill be Pullo
		HeroicDose on Sun 22 June 2008 said... A seagull shat on my motorbike the other day, the fat bastard. Dicky, when you've finished with that tramp, maybe you could sort him out too.
		Kitty on Sun 22 June 2008 said... DickyM, if you resembled Pullo in any way whatsoever, I doubt you'd know what hit you. (It IS very quiet on here, d'you reckon they're all watching Steven Seagal in Under Siege?)
		libertyvalance2008 on Sun 22 June 2008 said... HD, you'll be joining me in Hell for that photo
		libertyvalance2008 on Sun 22 June 2008 said... well, we're the same height with the same hair
		HeroicDose on Sun 22 June 2008 said... Hopefully Duke. As Bill Hicks said, they have all the good music.
		Kitty on Sun 22 June 2008 said... trembles
		libertyvalance2008 on Sun 22 June 2008 said... Duke ??? are you elizabethwindsor ?
		HeroicDose on Sun 22 June 2008 said... Sorry, meant Dicky of course. Head's gone weird.
		libertyvalance2008 on Sun 22 June 2008 said... you be cleo, ive got a tent
		HeroicDose on Sun 22 June 2008 said... But we will be Dukes of Hell in any case.
		MrBeefy on Sun 22 June 2008 said... steps in to calm Kitty
		HeroicDose on Sun 22 June 2008 said... Pass her the quimwipes, Beefy.
		MrBeefy on Sun 22 June 2008 said... Re-reading the thread, I doubt if I can help. Never saw Rome but I suspect he's the man. Best I just lend you my airgun to sort the cunting seagull
		Kitty on Sun 22 June 2008 said... Beefy, just dress in a toga, lie back and think of England.
		MrBeefy on Sun 22 June 2008 said... Doing it already, my sweet. snogs I know, I know...get a room...etc.
		Kitty on Sun 22 June 2008 said... Heh.....
		MrBeefy on Sun 22 June 2008 said... Oh, and the answer to your question is that it's a happy, slightly pervy face. Hell of a tongue too.
		dandyboy on Sun 22 June 2008 said... What, the face of the OP covered in strimmered shit?
		Kitty on Sun 22 June 2008 said... No, the horny dog on Beefy's profile. passes out at tongue pun
		HeroicDose on Sun 22 June 2008 said... My mate had a dog who was always happily wolfing down other dog's turds, the little scatmuncher. Not a nice thing to witness.
		MrBeefy on Sun 22 June 2008 said... Thanks for that, HD. Now I feel sick.
		Kitty on Sun 22 June 2008 said... Bedtime for Kittys. Night all ! x
		MrBeefy on Sun 22 June 2008 said... x
		dandyboy on Sun 22 June 2008 said... Now that's something you don't see on Animals Do The Funniest Things...
		dandyboy on Sun 22 June 2008 said... Heroic's mate's dog that is, not that I've seen Beefy or Kitty on it either.
		HeroicDose on Sun 22 June 2008 said... You're welcome Beefy. It was one of those female dogs that tries to shag your leg despite not having any tackle. A shit-eating sexually confused halfwit. A bit like Tom Cruise.
		MrBeefy on Sun 22 June 2008 said... You might laugh for a bit, until the dog then pukes up on your pale carpet.
		dandyboy on Sun 22 June 2008 said... It's at times like this I'm glad I don't have a dog...
		MrBeefy on Sun 22 June 2008 said... As my little brother said tof dogs this afternoon. "When my kids have grown up I'll feel that I've done my time with shit"
		HeroicDose on Sun 22 June 2008 said... 2 dogs 1 lawn.
		MrBeefy on Sun 22 June 2008 said... That's ok, HD. Don't limit it to Tom Cruise. Could be that Mark Oaten or that bloke from Saved by the Bell.
		dandyboy on Sun 22 June 2008 said... Sounds like something the courts should be making Naomi Campbell do.
		dandyboy on Sun 22 June 2008 said... *what Beefy's brother said. Damn these fat fingers.
		dandyboy on Sun 22 June 2008 said... Or Lembit Opic, he's got to be sexually confused looking at his missus.
		HeroicDose on Sun 22 June 2008 said... He's genetically confused, the moon-faced spacker. Grew up in the same town as me but I don't remember ever seeing his comedy head about.
		dandyboy on Sun 22 June 2008 said... He probably used to be a woman. Or a goat.
		RoosterDiamond on Mon 23 June 2008 said... Seagulls shitting on motorbikes is so fucking annoying. I feel for you Heroic. I live near the beach and the fuckers fly around waiting for my bike to appear. Give them Alka Seltzer to eat - they like that.
		Hillbilly on Mon 23 June 2008 said... or shoot them with a blunderbus full of diahoarreah. That would be justice (then reload and shoot Naomi Campbell).
		littleleopard82 on Mon 23 June 2008 said... i can't remember what i was going to post now , dandyboy , lembit opic needs serious lower facial reconstruction if you ask me , peter beardsley wannabe.
		HeroicDose on Mon 23 June 2008 said... I will perform said reconstruction with my boot after I deal with the seagulls and their ultimate shitting tournament.
		BlartMonster on Mon 23 June 2008 said... You leave Peter Beardsley out of this, LL. He is a fucking footballing god! If you want to slag off ugly footballers, choose someone like Shrek, that doyen of good looks, Iain Dowie, or the Charlie Dimmock lookylikey Ray Parlour. Beardo may have been a tad Quasimodoesque but he was several leagues above the likes of Beckham, fatty Lampard and the rest of those overrated cunts
		ChunkyMunky on Mon 23 June 2008 said... Yep - LL don't take St Beardo's name in vain!!! He's a fucking legend and all-round good bloke compared to the current batch of over-moneyed, under-brained,arse-phone-jamming, self-rimming shower of cunts that make up the premiership.
		kwebb on Mon 23 June 2008 said... I saved a penalty off Peter Beardsley once. The man is an absolute gentleman.
		BigVern on Mon 23 June 2008 said... break into his house and stick a cork up the dogs arse OP that should solve ya problem
		littleleopard82 on Mon 23 June 2008 said... hey i was not taking his name in vain , i was merely pointing out the fact that he had a wonky chin ....ledge he is .....and blart hit the nail on the head there Iain Dowie .....eeeeek what nightmares are made of
		dandyboy on Tue 24 June 2008 said... You've no idea what it was like... 3 seasons as a Palace fan and not being able to look at the manager for fear of turning into stone.