THE CORNER
| Usher | Shame you didn't say "Hello Maidstone" to a crowd of 10,000 Manc nutcases instead, you fucking bland freak |
| UK rail companies. | A trip from Manchester to London for 2 people, (admittedly at fairly short notice – 3 weeks), currently costs £294.66 by train. A tank and a half of petrol costs approximately £80. Two return flights on BA, £248 including taxes. Yet, these cunts expect us to use their crowded, dirty, unreliable service as realistic alternative. Why the fuck has this never been put in here before? (apart from it being a bit dull). We have some of the most expensive rail prices on earth, yet we are expected to do the right thing, save the planet and all that hysterical environmentalist bollocks. Meet us halfway you cunts. Offer a clean, frequent, comfortable and reasonably priced service and people might actually use it a bit more often you greedy retards |
| UB40 | They have been ignored by this section for too long. |
| UK media | for censoring the name of the royal being blackmailed over gay sex. We all know its Vis......oooops. Hush now. |
| US TV Shows in the UK | Over produced, over scripted, over cliched, over polished, overly synical corporate trash. Made for the US market with references to US only issues (like politics, business, green card etc) and then flogged to 'trendy' tv stations over here for people who think they are with it and can 'relate' to a country they have no connection to. eg. Sex and the City was not about Bradford, no amount of Belinis in All Bar One Dewsbury will change that. (Bring back Minder and The Sweeny) |
| Underground Announcement This Morning | "Their are currently severe delays occurring on the Bakerloo, District and Northern Lines and miror delays on the Metropolitan, Jubilee, Central, Circle, Victoria and Hammersmith & City lines. The Waterloo and City and East London lines are closed". " All other London Underground lines are running a good service". Are you taking the fucking piss! |
| U2 | It's been a while and I just remembered, after seeing that clip on Film 2008, that these knobheads were once blown off stage by The Alarm who were subsequently dropped from the tour... Now how is that for fucking embarrassing? Mind you, it was in Newcastle so it doesn't really count for much. And it was 1984. And yes, I was there... I was only 12 though... |
| Uri Geller | Now all his "psychic abilities" have been revealed on Youtube as mediocre magician's tricks maybe he'll now admit that he's been lying to everyone for the last 30 years. |
| Uma Thurman | What's happened Uma, you used to be cool. But no great performances in Kill Bill or Pulp Fiction can over-ride the sheer cuntiness of some of the adverts you've appeared in (the Virgin Media one springs to mind), and as for the posters for that new piece of excrement you've got out, The Accidental Husband... You look like a cross between a dear caught in the headlights and Kylie after she fucked her face up with botox! |
| U.S Election | For fuck sake could there be any more of a racial divide. Who would you vote for? The black team or the white team? |
| Ugg Boots | Dear Gods of Fashion, I have a velour tracksuit, rat-tail hair extensions, and am the colour of Dale Winton covered in Ronseal, but is there anything more I can do to look like a total WAG cunt? What, I can spend over a hundred quid to look like a club-footed eskimo that can't go out in the rain? Brilliant. Cunts. |
| Useless alcoholic con artists | You came into my shop, bought a packet of chewing gum with a £20 note, I gave you your change. You then stuffed the ten pound note down your pants without actually checking to see if I wasn't looking. Then you have the fucking cheek to claim I short changed you by £10. Do you really think I haven't seen this shit before, you stupid twat? If you are going to try and con someone in this manner again, at least do it properly. You useless waste of space cunt. Oh, and anyone who actually does fall for this kind of thing is also a cunt. Piss off. |
| Unrequited love | Aches like a crushed lung. |
| U2 | They are building a tower on the docks on Dublin, for now lets call it Cunt Towers, as a 'legacy' to their greatness. We don't want you, your music, your hotel, your tour, your clothing line or your stupid fucking tower. Fuck off! |
| Utterly Butterly advert | What is it with this country and cunty adverts? Having just got rid of the picture loans ad, we are now subject to seeing some stupid bint eating very hot food, with 'hilarious' consequences. Utterly cunty. |
| UPS | Do you think we haven't noticed? That Widget character in your ads is clearly Zippy from Raindow. Given the way you handle packages Bungle would have been more appropriate mascot. Zippy would never work for this bunch fools. Geoffrey: Hello Zippy! What are you thinking about? Zippy: I'm thinking what a bunch of cunts UPS are! Bungle: Oh come on Zippy; those people at UPS are really nice, aren't they Geoffrey? Zippy: You're a fucking cunt too, you cunting bear! |
| Ukrainian Orange Revolution | Not content with achieving independence from the USSR/Russia, these crooked bastards can't wait to sell the family silver and their fellow countrymen to the highest bidder in the west. Yulia Tymoshenko must be getting rogered by Bush or he must have some compromising pics of the bitch to make her so fervently anti-Russian. This fine country was the scene of the 20th century heroic struggle in the emancipation of the working classes and the bloody civil war against the interfering west and white forces which followed - those poor buggers who dreamed of independence must be wondering what they've let themselves in for. Shit MaccyD food and being taken to the cleaners by some fucking US backed mafia cunt. Yushchenko and Tymoshenko, you are traitorous bastards. Yanukovich should have used more fucking dioxin... |
| United Kingdom | Mick Hucknall is rich. We've failed as a nation. |
| uefa website | for compounding my grief at the european success of rangers by headlining an article on the press reaction of the game with this gem: 'what the mcpapers said'. hideous. |
| UPS | For asking me on the phone, "will you be at home between 9am and 5pm tomorrow for your collection?" "Yes" says me. And what time do you arrive? Five fucking minutes to fucking five pm! I couldnt even sit out in this glorious Autumn sunshine in case you twats turned up and rang the doorbell without me hearing it! And then you have the gall to complain that you couldnt find my house!!!! Has your company never heard of Sat Nav or Tom Toms?? Vaginas, the lot of you!!!! |