THE CORNER
| Tim Lovejoy | For a whole host of reasons too long to list here, but most lately for stealing Graham Norton's hairstyle. |
| the UK | has this country sunk so low as to take advice of Kelly Osborn on bbc radio 1 useless |
| Teens who can't speak or spell correctly | Here is a few quotes from that mansion fire kids blog page or similar. "An I hope they dont find any mor an your just havin a week somewer with your dad or sumink." "I miss you soo much. My thorts are with you 24/7 and there are some points in the day i just wanna break down and cry. "Plz b ok kirstie. We r all thinkin bowt u." Fuck me there is no hope for mankind. |
| The Credit Crunch | I know that this has been on here a few times now but it is only just, really starting to piss me off. Pick up a news paper and its all doom and gloom, banks going to the wall, profits slashed, profit warnings, unavailability of credit, job losses and my favourite fucking subject, repossessions. I’m pretty lucky I guess, one of the few but this repossessions thing is particularly winding me up. Why the fuck buy a property, when you can barely afford to pay for it? Why the fuck mortgage yourself to the hilt, with the possibility of losing your job and you and your family being thrown out on the fucking street? I mean come on and fucking wise up. Have some fucking self respect people so there is no begging to a faceless bank who doesn’t give a flying fuck about any of us and what is it about property that shuts off the common sense part of the human brain and blinds you to obvious fucking facts. I’m lucky. I bought a place in the South London 4 months ago with a lump of cash from my old man but, I was sensible with the money, tied most of it up nicely offshore, spent the rest on the house. Come home from a trip abroad and there is a couple staring at my fucking house. I ask them what they are looking at and he mumbles something about ‘they used to live there’ and the woman bursts into tears. For fucks sake people, it’s not my fault, I didn’t take out the loan, I didn’t have a shit job, I didn’t any miss repayments. I’m not greedy. I don't live on cheap credit blah blah blah People are using this 'Credit Crunch' to forget about their own failings, always blaming something else. Wankers |
| The English | A couple of posts on lately about the scots in particular although there have been several others. Why is it a constant surprise to a country which has at one time or another been at war with or occupied almost every other country on earth, that other nationalities think you are a bunch of cunts? |
| The Scots (2) | In fact why don't you just stop moaning and declare yourself independent now. I'm sure Russia will support you if there's any trouble. The Cornish can fuck off too. |
| The Scots | So you want your own Olympic team? That's fine. No funding, few facilities, lots of blue crosses on white backgrounds. Just because Chris Hoy won a few Golds you think you're somehow re-creating Braveheart? Fuck off and have your own nation then, see how long it takes before you come crawling back, begging for tax pounds from Westminster. Cunts. |
| The News | Barack Obama's missus says that Barack Obama is great. Fucking hold the front page! |
| The Kevin Bishop Show | Comedy for fuckwits. |
| Technology | Face it, in the olden days, sensitive data never went missing as no one was in the least bit tempted to try to carry one of those huge, brass bound leather covered volumes containing all the information. Step up the CD/DVD/Memory Stick with it's small size, easy to carry, quick as a flash convenience and any old forgetful cunt can shove it in their pocket and forget about it..... |
| The Peth | The Cunth. |
| The Spaniards Pub, London | Dick Turpin used to operate out of this manor. Seems he's still around and writing the menus nowadays: £6 for a cheese platter? That's cheese and biscuits to oiks like me. Six quid. |
| The Olympic Commitee | BMX Riding an olympic sport. Do fuck off. |
| The Office Cunt Who Says... | "What have you done to the weather?", every fucking morning. Say it again tomorrow and I'm going to pink sock you so hard that your dentures will come out of your sphincter. Just piss off and leave me alone. I'm soaked and don't need you suggesting I influence the weather. I'm not Ming The Merciless. Close-to-death-CUNT. |
| Top Gear | 2 new episodes on your new series, then you fuck off on holiday and give us a "best of" for 3 weeks. Lazy, overpaid, bollocks talking wankers! |
| Team USA | For lodging a protest over the women's 100m (Jamaica took all three medals) on the basis that one of their OWN athletes false-started. Give it up you sore-losing fuckers. |
| The British Public | Just like a typical British weather forecast... Bleak, gloomy, depressing. No prospect for sunshine in the foreseeable future. Miserable, cynical and quite predictable. Nasty, bitter and cold. Not particularly funny, just downright shit. Damp and soggy. No wonder you British fuck off abroad so often in order to piss off the locals in Ibiza in your union jack t-shirts. Shame you have to to taint your"olidaayy" destinations on "Easy Jet" with your cholesterol ridden "fry-ups", "Fish n Chips" "whatever and kidney" pies, Jellied eels, "Black Pudding" etc... Fucking backward inbred cunts, the LOT of you. By the way, the forecast looks gloomy for has-been nations living on long past "Glories". |
| The Daily Mail | For all the obvious reasons... AND, for mainly describing Rebecca Adlington as someone who likes shoes, you fucking lazy, misogynistic cunts |
| That stupid fucking Nelly Furtado song | Yes I know they're all a load of shit but this one in particular . . . There are five million bicycles in Bejing That's a fact . . No. You're a CUNT. THAT's a fact. |
| The Geldofs | Why do we take any of these cunts seriously? The father tells us "give us yore fookin money", whilst spending all his on his misbegotten proginy and as for them...! |