THE CORNER
| People who Keep snakes as pets | Fuck me you boring bastards. You are so alternative and against the grain aren't you?? No you are maily housing benefit officers, living in barret houses listening to Norah Jones. Left of the fucking field you lot. What ever next to show how zany you are a sponsored bungy jump?? Fuck off and don't release the snake at the local golf club when you are bored buying the thing dead mice. Pricks |
| People who spend hours thinking of anagr | Wordy cunts |
| Phone-in Contributors | To the Vanessa Feltz show. What it is, right, at the end of the day, basically, he's turned around and said A. She's then gone and said B. And I'm stuck in the middle thinkin C. Nah, nah, I don't mean what you're thinkin, Ness. Gordon Bennett. So, he's saying one thing. She's saying another. And do you know what? Cor blimey, my old mum. You have to larf. They was havin a blinder, mind you. But do you know what the really funny fing about the whole thing was? Yeah? All that time I was sat there mindin me own business with an arf a sixpence balanced on me nose! True story, Ness. Great show as ever. God bless. |
| Polar Bears | I can't understand all the fucking fuss made of these murderous fucking things. Come face to face with one and you will just about have time to poo your pants before it slices your face off with one swipe of it's paw. If they died out it would be GOOD for mankind. Smelly white cunts. |
| People who bullshit at work | Really? You were in Vietnam? You went to school with Muhammad Ali as well? CUNT. |
| Peter Mandelson | 'Cos the cunt's got his nose back in the trough. |
| Pete Doherty YouTube commenters | Not the funny ones, but the sickening fans that post "This song is so deep and meaningful, kissy" and "you rest me,thancks... " Fuck me down! You cunts must be taking more drugs than he is if you honestly think that this guy has any talent whatsoever. |
| Pride of Britain Awards | Am I the only person who thinks that, if two of your kids have beaten someone so badly that they lost the sight in one eye, phoning the police to hand in your rotten, scrotey future-fathers-of-nine hardly makes you a national hero? Should be renamed Chavs Win Prizes, pile of vacuous shite. |
| People who don't flush the tiolet.... | ...after having a massive shit What's that about? |
| Pinky and Perky | All that money and they live like pigs |
| People who can't make a decent cuppa | You incompetent fuckers. Its simple! For coffee, put the milk in BEFORE the hot water. For tea, put milk in AFTER the hot water when you have taken the tea bag out. |
| Predictive Iphone Text | STOP TELLING ME HOW TO SPELL MY OWN FUCKING NAME!!! |
| Pret sandwiches | Even Marc Almond would gag at the amount of fucking mayo you put in your sandwiches. |
| Petrol Companies | The price of oil has now dropped from $150 to under $100 per barrel, which I work out to be a 1/3 drop in price. Why then, have the robbing bastards not dropped petrol prices by 1/3??? Robbing thieving cunts! |
| Papercuts | I have broken both legs, a wrist, 3 ribs and my shoulder in a single motorbike crash, but, nothing compares to the agony of a papercut |
| Private license plates | R 4 CUN75 |
| Proms | Pompous "populist" entertainment made by cunts, performed by cunts for a whole load of fucking cunts. |
| Popbitch Mailout | The "Tesco Value" of celebrity gossip |
| People who wipe snots under office desks | Especially when its a shared desk. Fuck me is there any need? Freaks. |
| Poet Laureate Andrew Motion | "Laureate bemoans 'thankless' job " Your a fucking poet. What did you expect? It;s not just the Queen either. No one gives a shit. |