THE CORNER
| OTT couples at gigs/festivals | So fucking nauseating. The moment a band play a slower song, two total wank-jockeys who have been standing there (typically him behind with his arms over her shoulders) decide to eat each others faces and look at each other with an expression which says "This is OUR song, it's like they wrote it just for us". Total fucking wankshafts. I cannot tell you how many songs I now cannot listen to without thinking of two soppy, cheesy arse-crumpets dribbling over each other.... It was even happening at RADIOHEAD last week, I mean JESUS CHRIST.... Radiohead??? Romantic??? |
| Our MPs | They want a 21% pay rise. Why not go on strike you cunts we, the over taxed and underpaid, wouldn't notice any fucking difference as you're all fucking useless and do nothing for us. |
| One Republic | For managing to be an even duller sounding version of Coldplay. |
| Oz Clarke | Old wine expert cunt from ten years or so ago. I'm sitting getting pissed drinking red wine watching him on TV. He says: "I'm getting clean leather and nuts at the end". Twat. |
| Osaka 6 t-shirts | what are they all about? I can't wait for the Guildford 4 t-shirt |
| Old People | Unlike you, I haven't got all day, get out the fucking way. |
| Oprah Winfrey | For actually saying of the pregnant man farce "this is a new definition of what diversity means for everybody". This is not diversity. It's a complete fuck-up having a child. And forcing his/her it's own issues on to the unknowing, unwitting child. Going to the fucking dogs mate. |
| Olympic torch demonstrators | For failing to put the fucking thing out. Now it's over to the French, and they do know how to riot. |
| O2 | Morrissey, Fatboy Slim & Counting Crows to headline Wireless Festival!?!?Fucking hell, can't wait to see which has-been, droning old pile of shite gets booked for the final slot... |
| O2 Arena ticket website | For allowing the "TicketExchange" part of their website to sell tickets for Leonard Cohen for £600 a pair when everything else is "sold out". Similar ridiculous prices for Led Zep and other greats and thus pricing your average bloke out of contention. Money grabbing, commercialised cunts who should be ashamed of themselves and the worst thing to happen to the live music industry in this country for years. |
| Office Smokers | Please would you mind not clogging up the entire pavement with your five-minute fag-break coterie and kindly induce lung cancer a little closer to the wall? Thank you. |
| Other countries | I don't see anyone putting together emergency help for us after our earthquake......next time they have one they can fuck off. |
| Omid Djalili | Yes, we get the point, you're Iranian. Now for fuck's sake think up some jokes for your dreadful TV show. |
| Otis Ferry | He's back in the news again but his rightful place is here in this Corner. Fancy wasting such a cool name on a cunt whose eyes are too close together and who kills animals for fun. And votes Tory. |
| OIL CUNTS | Over a £1 a litre now due to oil price rocketing to around $98 a barrel. Well it's fallen back to around $90 a barrel over the last week so where's the price cut you fleecing bastards? |
| Office singers | It's bad enough that i have to listen to 'valerie' about 60 times a day, i dont need you singing along too. |
| Ocean's 13 | Never before have I been insulted with a plot as lame as this. Brad and George should be shot for their contribution to atrocities to art. |
| OK magazine | Stop encouraging Kerry Katona for fuck sake |
| Over-enthusiasm during national anthems | Sure, i know you're passionate about playing for your country. Yes, i know you love your Queen/King/Dictator/whatever. But turning purple whilst singing, with spittle frothing from your mouths, and bobbing your head to and fro like a cross between David Gray & Stevie Wonder, makes you look deranged. If you want to look like a cunt go on X-Factor. |
| Orlando Bloom Car crash | Crashed his car while being tailed by photographers, will there be an inquest in ten years time when no one gives a fuck anymore? |