THE CORNER
| Nocturnal/inside sunglasses wearers | The wrath that stirs up inside me when i see someone wearing sunglasses when there is no sun, cannot be matched. |
| Noel Edmonds | He won't go away, and now he's got a new show plus loads of media coverage for talking bollocks about T.V liscensing. I long for the day when his career is merely a bad memory, not something that has to be endured. |
| Noel's HQ | The Daily Mail is now televised |
| NME | for - and I promise I'm not making this up - trying to entice readers next week by giving away sheet music for the new Oasis album. Why listen to MP3s when you can get the family around the piano for a sing-song? |
| Natasha Kablinski | I fucking hate her - TRUFAX! |
| New Oasis Song | "Allrite folks. Been enjoying the sunsheeee-iiiineeee, 'ave we? "Don't know about yous, but don't it feel like Groundhog Day? "Anyways, here's our brand *new* single, "The Same As The Rest Of 'Em" Take it away, our kid!" |
| New Breed of Responders | I go away for a month and find that Holy Moly has finally been relegated to Satan's cum ridden crap infested ringpiece. Bunch of wankers |
| Noel Gallagher | Because you're band was a heroic moment of the nineties, now you are just a miserable whining cunt with something to say about every other cunt. Fuck off you hairy dwarf! |
| Nicholas Parsons | Should have tried harder to make Sale of the Century funny. |
| Nick Knowles | Not for his dreary 'television to slit your wrists to' daytime TV bollox, but because on his latest blood test for his rampant hypercholesterolaemia, his blood sample was so laden with cholesterol it clogged up the fucking machine in the path lab, costing Northamtonshire NHS Trust about 8 grand. CUNT |
| Nick Grimshaw | Because he has a lazy way of speaking and when you're on TV or radio I'd have thought that would be a bad thing but this cunt's on more that Vernon Kay!!! He's a bit smug for no discernable reason as well. ...and I don't see the point of him. Fuck off Nick, just fuck off! |
| New Keane Single | Sweet fucking jesus. I would rather repeatedly slam my johnson in a car door whilst self fisting myself with a diamonti Michael Jackson glove, then ever endure this torrent of audio cuntness again. |
| New 'The Mummy' Movie | Rachel Weisz has been replaced. REPLACED! The lesbian in me is FURIOUS! Fucking wankers! Brendan Fraser needed the work though, he was getting too fat. |
| Nigel Kennedy | Now look. You're a good violinist, and did sterling work in the Eighties trying to get the ungrateful lower classes to appreciate classical music. But dicking about on the Proms, dressed like a tramp and playing what sounded like the theme from Coronation Street makes you look a right cunt. |
| NCP in Brighton | £11.20 for 3 hours parking? You fuckin' thieving cunts |
| Nicholas Lyndhurst | Have you ever been in anything good? |
| noisy shaggers | You don't live next door, or the flat next to that - you live in the next fucking building along and I could still hear you miserably warbling your way through a marathon sex session. I wouldn't give a shit ordinarily, but you opened your window, just so the whole world could hear you at 3 o'clock in the morning. Did you sound like Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally? Did you fuck! More like the entire cast of the Carry on team having their teeth pulled. |
| National Geographic Magazine | If I wanted to sit and read a bunch of adverts on my way into work I would picked up a free Metro. Every other page you money grabbing cunts? |
| New iphone owners | "and look at this" "and watch this" "you got to see this" "and JUST look at this" Its as if they want to actively demonstrate what complete cunts they are |
| New Confused.com advert | What the fuck does sloth from the Goonies want insurance for |