THE CORNER
| My Mum | For making me wear sailor clothes up until i was 16 |
| men who wear pointy shoes/boots | only gypsies and 60's rockers have the right to wear them, not you u fukin faked tan, crimped haired, essex boy TWATS u know who u are |
| Marco Pierre White | What the fuck is that cunt doing wearing Sigourney Weaver's hair?..and why is he wearing her hair?? OR is Marco Pierre White really Sigourney Weaver after a pig out on the testosterone pills? |
| Mcdonald's Drive-thru staff | A beautiful day ruined by these cunts. How the fuck did you manage to give me a McFlurry with no spoon? You fucking used one to "Flurry" it. I didn't realise after the burger, you no-star-bastards. P.S. The sight of a melted McFlurry is enough to put you on a diet for life, what the hell is in those things? |
| Mamma Mia: The Movie | For fuck's sake, a cash-in on what was already a fucking cash-in! Fucking fuck off! |
| Middle Class moaners | Aw didums. You've got it so hard haven't you, poor love. Its so unfair that people have a go at you for going to an expensive private school, and going on holiday twice a year. I mean it's far worse than say working f*cking hard to get to the same place than you got to just because your dad used to play milky busicuit with the owner of the media company when he was 14. In short, you do have everything on a plate, you do have the sort of life that a huge chunk of the people will never have, and you'll never realise how f-ing easy you'll have it. So you get some flack for it, get over it, would you like to swap places? Nope, thought not. So stop whining about it, you cunt. |
| Middle Class Haters | I'm sorry i'm middle class. I'm sorry i went to a minor public school, had two holiday's a year; one to italy for summer the other skiing in the alps for christmas, lived in riverside property, got educated, like going to museums and art galleries, have a very liberal outlook on life through travelling when i had the chance and have two middle names. see how i am the root of all evil. And don't give me any of this "i'm working class i never stood a chance" crap. pull your fucking fingers out, get rid of that chip on your shoulder and improve yourself. Without the middle class this country would really be in the shit. the only culture we would have is grimecore and eastenders. so please don't blame the middle class, in case you thick shits hadn't noticed we are in "the middle" despised by both chavs and toffs. Pseudo Trotskyite Bollocks. |
| Maria Cuntanova | Are we playing tennis or being anally shit stabbed with a 14" cock? For fucks sake I've never heard such a cunting racket in my life. "Aaaarrggghhhhhh", "Uuuuuuugggghhhhhh", thank fuck the scrawny shag bag just lost like a complete cunt that she is and sounds. Someone, please for the love of Christ, do a Monica Sella's on her! Was that to much? |
| Michael Stich on Five Live | Interviewing a female French tennis player the other evening, managed to engage her on the topics of shopping, love letters and her favourite animal. Why not just cut to the chase and ask whether she'd like to be seeded higher up? You didn't ask Roger Federer about his favourite fucking aftershave. Lecherous, cringeworthy cunt. |
| Mark Ronson (again) | For being the most unhelpful, miserable, stuck-up little prick that the Sunday Night Project have had on so far, and for taking his dad to the show with him. Grow some balls Ronson. It's time you went out without taking mummy or daddy with you everytime. |
| My Neighbour | You might think that letting your dog shit in the long grass next to the car park is fucking harmless, but my strimmer disagrees, you lazy chav cunt. |
| Mario & Lisa | THAT THONG, THOSE BISCUITS, THE KISSING AND SINGING...I'M BLIND!!.........I hope Mario won't start patronising me now..... |
| Mother Teresa | Because she never got those lovely tits out. |
| My Family | I know its an easy target but I dont know a single person who watches it. How the fuck does it remain on our TV. What the fuck is the point of it. ARRRGHHHHH |
| My (ex) friend | An email went out to a few old mates this week suggesting a get together in a few weekends time. One response: Hiya all, Sounds great guys but I have tickets to see Bon Jovi that weekend! Livin on a prayer YEAH! Catch you all soon Who the FUCK have you become? Fucking Bon Jovi? YEAH? I will be happy if I never ever see you again you awful 30 something cliche. |
| Metal Gear Solid 4 | I've been a spare cock in threesomes and participated more. This is the gaming equivalent of 'Be Here Now'. Oh. And I'm the cunt for buying it. |
| Michael Jackson | Whatever happened to those benefit singles you were going to release for 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina victims? |
| My next door neighbour....... | ....drives a Subaru Imprezza, with a personalised numberplate and listens to Level 42. Tit. |
| Man on SATC advert | "Wipes the floor with Bridget Jones". Grow yourself a set of balls. |
| My 23 year old brother | he's flying out to America next month to stay with a girl he met playing xbox live, the fucking social outcast cunt. This girl has already had a 'relationship' with one of my brothers online 'friends', which involved him moving out the the US to live with her in their family home. Unfortunately this didnt work out once they realised they had nothing in common apart from halo 3. It makes me physically sick and embarressed for my whole family. I feel i have no other choice than to distance myself from him with the intention on eventually disowning him completely. |