THE CORNER
| Diet Coke | Your new half silver, half red can design means that when shopmonkeys put it on the shelves red side forward it looks exactly the same as Coke. Twice now I've dived into a shop for a quick sugar rush only to discover too late that I've bought artificially sweetened fizzy brown piss water. Put that shit back in easily avoided silver cans. |
| David Miliband | For not changing his christian name to 'The Steve' |
| Dennis The Menace | For glamourising anti-social behaviour. |
| Dmitry Medvedev | Warmongering bug eyed wanker who sucked Putin's cock for YEARS just so he could become the Russian President. Stop fucking about with Georgia and threatening innocent people around the world with cold war and do something PRODUCTIVE FOR THE RUSSIAN PEOPLE YOU MINGEFACED CONGLOMERATE CUNT. |
| Dettol all in one | If one bacteria becomes 2 million overnight and dettol kills 99.99% of bacteria then it doesn't kill 200 bacteria that will become 400 million overnight - so not very safe then? |
| Davina McCall | No-one in their right fucking mind buys for a minute that you could give a tuppenny fuck about the antics of these amoebas day in day out, so cut the fucking theatrics you cunt, or at least have the fucking dignity to hand this shit over to someone born after the rationing ended |
| DFS ad. feat. Nickelback | It's the idiots miming and playing air guitar that infuriate me most. Overacted by cunts who can't act. Worst still, they look like somebody's parents. There's some poor kid sat at home, hanging his head in shame and saying 'aahh muuuum' evrytime it comes on, and he know's he's in for a 'world of pain' when he goes to school the next day. For fuck sake DFS, think of the children!!! |
| Death threats | If you don't add this post I'll kill you. I'm a cunt. |
| Decathlon olympians | Jack of all trades, master of none |
| Dame Shirley Porter | The most corrupt British political figure in living memory. Oh and Boris Johnson's pal. Was fined £27 million by the district auditor for the "Building Stable Communities" Policy fiasco. A plan to move poor labour voters out of marginal constituencies into dilapidated properties in labour Strong areas. The empty properties in marginal areas were then mostly sold to her property developer friends for well below market value. Despite being the multi millionairess daughter of Tesco founder Jack Cohen, claimed poverty by dispersing her fortune between her relatives for safe keeping while in self imposed exile in Israel. Finally agreeing a deal to pay back only £12.3 because it would be costlier to pursue her though the courts to get the full amount. She then went and brought a £1.5 million property in London. Utterly morally redundant CUNT. |
| Deborah Meaden (Dragon's Den) | To meet you in person must be as excruciating as standing on an upturned plug, barefoot. You make my eyes water, you mangled, old trout. You'd probably reject my idea for a for a Deborah Meaden Torture Chamber, saying it wouldn't be popular. Well bollocks! There's a massive market for it. Just so you know where I stand... I think you're a cunt. Welcome to the corner, bitch. |
| Detectives on Jill Dando case | HA HA YOU FUCKING BENT CUNTS. |
| Danny Wallace | The cunts cunt. |
| Danny Dyer | for walking, talking and acting like a cunt. just because you once played a hardman in a movie, doesnt make you a hardman. it was a film you cunt and you are a terrible actor. |
| David Walliams | Without the talent of Matt Lucas you would unemployed, you beady eyed fuck wit. Please do another charity channel swim, preferably during a tsunami. |
| damon albarn | talking to some session musicians..."it's meant to sound like a collapsing volcano! i want you to sound like a collapsing volcano!" you silly pretentious cunt |
| Donkey Punch | Someone will die because of this film, and not just because it's shit. Without a shadow of doubt some twat will try the punch and end up killing some girl. Then a whole shit storm of press will follow - it's already blowing up nicely. |
| Dwain Chambers | Ha ha ha, get the rules through your thick jock skull pal, get caught, get banned, er that's it. Now that you've spunked a small fortune on legal feels, will you be going to Bejing to support your country's team? Didn't think so. WANKER |
| Des Lynam | You used to be a hero with your jaunty little greetings and off-the-cuff comments on a Saturday then you took ITV's filthy lucre but we could forgive you because you were still quite funny, even if it was only every now and again because you only did the Champions League. Now the Beeb have waved some cash under your nose you're back doing Sport Mastermind but we'd all move for more money but hell fire man, you just sat there reading the autocue like a rabbit in the headlines and with no personality. It won't take much to move back to sacred cow but until you put in a little effort you are destined to remain in the corner. |
| Dimitar Berbetov | Please, don't...you're breaking my heart |