THE CORNER
| American voters | "I'm not ready for a President with the middle name Hussein" Yes, thats a very rational way to choose a president. Russia needn't bother blasting you back to the stoneage, you never left it! |
| Adam West/Batman | He's meant to uphold the law of Gotham City but he's always shouting Lets go robbin'... I think thats underhand and un-gentlemanly, the cunt. |
| Alex Zane | Got suspended from radio by playing a song he created about rape. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. |
| Ass Bandits | Pretty much week in week out one idiot will share with the HM viewers his desire to get aquainted with the anus of some random female celebrity. This will undoubtedly be one of the fucksticks that posts in the responder's section. You're not fooling anybody - should an actual woman ever come within 10 paces of you your face will turn redder than a baboon's butt. Fuck off, that shit is not and has never been funny. |
| Australians | Always wanking on about how good you are at sport, aren't you? And always going on about how shit we are too. Check the Olympic medal table you fucking Neanderthals. We beat you at everything now - everything. Ozzy Ozzy Ozzy Cunt! Cunt! Cunt! |
| Alanis Morisette | One hand in her pocket, the other in the biscuit tin |
| Anyone who... | wants a brand new house on an episode of Cribs and a bathroom they can play baseball in and a king sized tub big enough for ten plus them. Cunts the lot of em! |
| Alex Curran | Fat faced chubby Cricket-shopping scrubber who managed to snare a snare a footballer with actual talent to become famous. Like all WAGS |
| Andy Murray | Not even a gold medal would have cheered up that miserable cunt. |
| Alex Zane | Ha ha ha ha he he ha ha ha he he ha ha ha he he That is the natural effect you get when you say something funny. If you keep trying long enough you might actually get that result And why I am on it "STOP PLAYING THE FUCKING KAISER CHIEFS" |
| Alex James | You make cheese now, we get it. |
| Andy Murray | Try concentrating on the game instead of shouting, you stupid prick, and you never know, you might fucking win. |
| America's Got Talent | the million dollar prize money is payable over 40 years - 40 YEARS... |
| Abbreviation complainers | These peeps should just fess up that they love 'em, they have since Uni, and I swear on this glass of SoCo that I'm drinking as I type that they'll use these abbreve's in most of their convo's. |
| Anton Du Beke | Real name: Tony Beak. I rest my case. |
| alexa chung | for rendering herself unfuckable by having a laugh that sounds exactly like the spitting image puppet of Sarah Ferguson |
| Always menstrual pads | Have a happy period! Are you fucking kidding? As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my boyfreind likes to calls "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. There is a strong possibility, once I'm jacked up on painkillers and Kahlua I'll march down to the local Tesco Metro armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end it all in a blaze of glory or shove my boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill. |
| Agyness Dyen | Turning up to the opening of an envelope, hanging out with Nick Grimshaw and now telling any sad cunt who will listen that youo're going to be a rock star. You're not pig ugly and you wear other peoples clothes for a living, that's it, now please fuck off. |
| Anne Robinson driving ban | HAHAHAHA you sanctimonious plastic-faced bitch. You are the biggest cunt. FUCK OFF. |
| Any man who uses fucking hair straighten | Just look at Nicole Kidman's husband - what a twat |