1. PRAWN BALLS
(Holy News / News)

DAVID BECKHAM'S BREATH SMELLS OF FISH

2. I'M HOT, FAT, INNOCENT?
(Holy News / News)

BRITNEY SPEARS TOLD POLICE SHE WAS TOO HOT TO WEAR CLOTHES

3. WHAT A CATCH!
(Holy News / News)

Early photos of Amy Winehouse's husband Blake Fielder-Civil leaked on the internet

4. Madge's Shooting Gallery
(Holy News / News)

Madonna injects actors on set of Guy Ritchie's latest film

5. Open Your Art(eries)
(Holy News / News)

Madonna shoots up during a flight

6. Students who say 'Random'
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...uldn't classify myself as a 'student', with their thin hair and Coldplay-filled iPods. If i hear one more Vitamin deficient pretentious cunt say "Wow! how random is that: Ferg's just text me after we...

7. Brunettes
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

...hes with hair so dark, you tempt me so with your sultry good looks. Sod blondes, I just cant get enough of vitamin brunette...

8. menthol fags
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

fucking great invention a good smoke and they freshen your breath. Try YsL lemon flavour yet? nicotine and vitamin c. Who says cigarettes are bad for you.