1. ULRIKA-KA-KA TO WAKE UP BRITAIN?
(Holy News / News)

ULRIKA JONSSON IN TALKS TO LAND TOP JOB ON GMTV

2. PIC OF THE WEEK
(Holy News / News)

CHANELLE THE BLOW UP SEX DOLL

3. CRISIS? WHAT CRISIS?
(Holy News / News)

VICTORIA BECKHAM INSISTS HER FASHION LINE IS DOING WELL

4. ZERO ZERO DIGNITY
(Holy News / News)

JAMES BOND SELLS OUT TO COKE ZERO

5. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

6. PAM IN THE MIRROR
(Holy News / News)

JACKO APPARENTLY 'STEPS OUT' WITH PAMELA ANDERSON. WORLD PUSHES AWAY UNFINISHED DINNER

7. THIS CHARMING MAN(AGER-LESS)
(Holy News / News)

MANCUNIAN MIRTH-MEISTER MORRISEY WHIRLS HIS MANAGEMENT REVOLVING DOOR TO HURRICAINE GUSTAV

8. THE BEST OF BALLS
(Holy News / News)

CALUM BEST OWNS UP TO COMMITMENT ISSUES

9. RISKY BUSINESS
(Holy News / News)

TOM CRUISE WORRIED ABOUT CRAZED STALKERS

10. FORE!
(Holy News / News)

JACK TWEED, JADE GOODY'S BOYFRIEND JAILED FOR ASSAULT ON A 16 YEAR OLD

11. SOUR CHILD O' OZZY'S
(Holy News / News)

AXL ROSE FANCIES KELLY OSBOURNE

12. DIRTY DAVID
(Holy News / News)

X FILES ACTOR DAVID DUCHOVNY TREATED FOR SEX ADDICTION

13. JOLIE HARD LIFE
(Holy News / News)

ANGELINA JOLIE STRUGGLING WITH NEWBORNS

14. BACKE ON TEH DRUGGES AGANE!
(Holy News / pete)

OR THE SECRET DIARY OF P DOEHERTY OF BAMBYSHABLES

15. SOUP OF THE DAY
(Holy News / News)

A DRUNK LOOKING SADIE FROST WITH JODIE HARSH

16. KID ROCK IN DOING SOMETHING FUNNY SHOCKER
(Holy News / News)

KID ROCK PISSES ON PROMOTER'S SOFA

17. GRUESOME TWOSOME ALERT!
(Holy News / News)

BIG BROTHER'S MOST GRUESOME COUPLING YET?

18. SPORTY BECOMES BABY
(Holy News / News)

MEL C IS PREGNANT!

19. ATOMIC WRIT-EN
(Holy News / News)

KERRY KATONA MAY HAVE HER ASSETS SEIZED TO SETTLE TAX BILL

20. DULLEST. BATMAN. EVER.
(Holy News / News)

DAVID BLAINE PLANS ANOTHER INTERESTING STUNT

21. A TALE OF TWO CITIES
(Holy News / News)

PARIS HILTON LOOKING FOR A NEW BEST FRIEND IN THE UK

22. OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE CLIP
(Holy News / News)

ERNEST BORGNINE REVEALS THE MASTURBATORY SECRET OF ETERNAL YOUTH

23. SINKING CRUISE
(Holy News / News)

TOM CRUISE'S BUSINESS PARTNER RESIGNS

24. BE-LOHAN THE BELT
(Holy News / News)

LINDSAY LOHAN DRAWS THE LINE AND DEFENDS SISTER

25. MASS DEBACLE
(Holy News / News)

DAVID BECKHAM AND JIMMY PAGE IN OLYMPIC CLOSING CEREMONY

26. WIN TICKETS TO LOOP FESTIVAL IN BRIGHTON
(Holy News / Competition)

TICKETS TO BRIGHTON FESTIVAL UP FOR GRABS

27. WHO IS LOUIS WALSH'S MYSTERY DATE?
(Holy News / News)

LOUIS WALSH GETS CLOSE TO MYSTERY WOMAN

28. GIVE UP THE DAY JOB
(Holy News / News)

NICK GRIMSHAW AND ZEZI IFORE CLEAN THE STREETS AND DO A BETTER JOB AT THAT THAN PRESENTING

29. ONE, TWO BILLY'S COMING FOR YOU
(Holy News / News)

BILLY BOB THORNTON TO PLAY FREDDY KRUEGER

30. LIFE'S A PEACH AND THEN YOU MARRY ONE
(Holy News / News)

BOOKIES GIVE PEACHES'S MARRIAGE 12/1 IT'S OVER IN A MONTH