1. OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE CLIP!
(Holy News / News)

MADONNA MAKES UP AN IMPROMPTU SONG ABOUT SARAH PALIN

2. OWN GOALY MOLY
(Holy News / News)

JOE KINNEAR'S FOUR LETTER RANT AT JOURNALISTS

3. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

4. BOTCHED WITH MOTHER
(Holy News / News)

BLAKE FIELDER-CIVIL FORCED TO STAY WITH MUM

5. DREADING THE BOARDS
(Holy News / News)

BIZARRE 'AMERICAN PSYCHO' MUSICAL ON THE WAY

6. STREET TRAGIC
(Holy News / News)

DAVID BLAINE ACCUSED OF CHEATING IN SILLY STUNT

7. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

8. ARTHUR CONAN DOOMED
(Holy News / News)

JUDE LAW TO PLAY DR WATSON IN GUY RITCHIE'S SHERLOCK HOLMES?

9. BATALI WASTINGS
(Holy News / News)

GWYNETH PALTROW CLAIMS SHE CANNOT DIET

10. MURDERING THE DANCEFLOOR
(Holy News / News)

KNIGHTLEY AND BLOOM TO REMAKE TRAVOLTA CLASSIC

11. SEND IN THE CLOWN
(Holy News / News)

NEW BRITNEY SPEARS ALBUM IN TIME FOR CHRISTMAS

12. OH, BROTHER
(Holy News / News)

DANIELLE LLOYD SNARES HUSBAND, A NATION CHOKES ON THEIR TEA

13. FORE!
(Holy News / News)

JACK TWEED, JADE GOODY'S BOYFRIEND JAILED FOR ASSAULT ON A 16 YEAR OLD

14. BACKE ON TEH DRUGGES AGANE!
(Holy News / pete)

OR THE SECRET DIARY OF P DOEHERTY OF BAMBYSHABLES

15. TONE DEAF DUNST
(Holy News / News)

KIRSTEN DUNST RULES OUT BROADWAY APPEARANCE

16. WIN A PAIR OF TICKETS FOR BACARDI B-LIVE
(Holy News / Competition)

TICKETS FOR BACARDI B-LIVE UP FOR GRABS

17. NEVER SAY NEVER ALLEN
(Holy News / News)

LILY ALLEN REFUSES TO RULE OUT DRUGS IN THE FUTURE

18. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S HAPPENING ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET

19. DEER JONES
(Holy News / News)

VINNIE JONES TERRIFIED BY A DEER

20. BACK TO BLACK EYES
(Holy News / News)

AMY WINEHOUSE CLASHES WITH PHOTOGRAPHERS ON LATEST NIGHT OUT

21. SINKING CRUISE
(Holy News / News)

TOM CRUISE'S BUSINESS PARTNER RESIGNS

22. GIVE UP THE DAY JOB
(Holy News / News)

NICK GRIMSHAW AND ZEZI IFORE CLEAN THE STREETS AND DO A BETTER JOB AT THAT THAN PRESENTING

23. ONE, TWO BILLY'S COMING FOR YOU
(Holy News / News)

BILLY BOB THORNTON TO PLAY FREDDY KRUEGER

24. HYPO-TIT-ICAL
(Holy News / News)

JORDAN AND CHANTELLE SQUABBLE OVER WHO LOOKS MOST LIKE A SLAPPER

25. CRUSHUA TREE
(Holy News / News)

WELSH JUDGE ORDERS U2 CDS TO BE DESTROYED

26. SOMETHING IN THE WATER
(Holy News / News)

THREE CORONATION STREET STARS ANNOUNCE PREGANCY ON THE SAME DAY

27. HAYDEN'S TIGHT
(Holy News / News)

HAYDEN PANETTIERE IS TIGHT WITH HER MONEY

28. WIN TICKETS TO THE VODAFONE TBA 2 ON BRIGHTON BEACH
(Holy News / Competition)

TWO TICKETS FOR THE VODAFONE TBA 2 IN BRIGHTON

29. NEW YORK STATE
(Holy News / News)

HEATHER MILLS BUYS APARTMENT IN NEW YORK

30. THREE'S A CROWD
(Holy News / News)

THREE MEN TURN UP FOR ABI TITMUSS BOOK SIGNING