1. HIT ME WITH THE ALCOPOPS ONE MORE TIME
(Holy News / News)

BRITNEY'S MUM RELEASES TELL-ALL BOOK

2. DEATH AND THE DOHERTY
(Holy News / News)

PETE DOHERTY'S HEART STOPS

3. A LOAD OF KABUL
(Holy News / News)

JUDE LAW CALLS FOR AFGHAN INSURGENTS TO DOWN WEAPONS

4. MOSS VS MOSSHART
(Holy News / News)

JAMIE HINCE'S KILLS BANDMATE ISOLATED BY KATE MOSS

5. NANNY STATE
(Holy News / News)

ETHAN HAWKE'S WIFE GIVES BIRTH

6. LAZY BEANS
(Holy News / News)

COURTNEY LOVE'S DAUGHTER NOT WORKING HARD AT SUMMER JOB

7. DIDDY DO IT?
(Holy News / News)

IS P DIDDY DIDDLING CAMERON DIAZ?

8. A PAIR OF SWEATERS
(Holy News / News)

MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY AND HIS PARTNER DO NOT SHOWER

9. KATE CROSS
(Holy News / News)

KATE MOSS PLAGUED BY 'STALKERS'

10. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

11. I PREDICT A DIET
(Holy News / News)

KAISER CHIEFS SINGER IS MISTAKEN FOR EWAN MCGREGOR

12. UP THE PRICE BRACKET
(Holy News / News)

PETE DOHERTY DEMANDS 30 GRAND FOR MODELLING JOB

13. LYNX SAHARA
(Holy News / News)

MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY ADMITS THAT HE SMELLS

14. JENNY AND THE BLOCK-HEADS
(Holy News / News)

JENNIFER LOPEZ WANTS TO PERFORM WITH THE SPICE GIRLS

15. Eau De Madge
(Holy News / News)

Don't visit Madonna's house - you'll come back stinking

16. Take His Breath Away
(Holy News / News)

Will Smith stuns cast with stinking breath

17. Tainted Love
(Holy News / News)

Marilyn Manson wears the same leather trousers for six days

18. CASUALTY
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

bloke comes in like an overdone lobster stinking of booze......wait for it......yes you guessed it, in an ambulance. whos the bigger cunt him or the cunt that called it. and he got in front of a sick

19. Climate Camp Activists
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...nt dodging road blocks and seeing armed police at the station every morning and evening ready to escort you stinking, lazy bastards to a field so you can get stoned and discuss how what you are doing ...

20. Drunks on buses
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

... the very next stop, leaving the rest of us, who aren't wankered enough to not give a shit, with the bloody stinking mess. bloody pissed cunts!...

21. Festival goers
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

... round, get the booze in and enjoy. No more sleeping in a smelly tent, on a muddy field, next to a bunch of stinking hippies. Wake up, in your own bed, shower, shit and a shave, nice breakfast, stick ...

22. Galaxy choclate
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...n get any free chocolate off you. Then I'm gonna send the vouchers back and tell them to SHOVE THEM UP YOUR STINKING CUNTS. Chocolate robbing cunt clowns !...

23. Gavin Henson
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Teenage drinking games? Punching friends in the face? Pissing your pants? Stinking of vomit? Wooh! It must be American students on spring break?!! Err no, take a bow numbnuts Gavin Henson, a deficat

24. HMV
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...hip store, in amongst the 'Social Spaces' (i.e. sweaty plastic sofas inhabited with spotty little arseholes stinking the place out as they compare happy-slap clips), they now offer screens which let y...

25. John Fucking Fuckity Prescott
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...our driver to mow ém down in your limo as you speed from a gala dinner to the nearest maccy d´s.) You´re stinking persona is responsible for giving the entire populace of Britain a dose of bulimia....

26. People who shit at work
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...nds as it hits the water. Modify your fucking digestive cycle so you can shit at home, you cunts, and stop stinking out my fucking bathroom! Shitting cunts....

27. People with B.O.
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...h BO. You dirty, filthy bastards, can't you smell yourselves? Is it too much to ask for you to wash your stinking pits every day, change your clothes more than once a week and use anti perspirant? ...

28. post office
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Full of "Trisha" cadidates, all stinking of stale ale and piss/fags. All queuing up for a fucking TV stamp , £5 leccie ,a scratchcard and their "wages" (state benefits to all of us who work for a l

29. Sasha Baron Cunt as Sherlock Holmes
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

My arse is already going 5p/10p at the thought of this stinking bucket of cold cunt soup. It could only be worse if Will Farrell "SHOUTING IS FUNNY" was playing Watson. Oh he is.

30. Social Underclass
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

You bunch of stinking fucking wasters. Stop walking round like you need a break or are owed a favour and take some fucking dignity in your appearance. Kids coming out of your fucking ears, no job, and