1. ATOMIC WRIT-EN
(Holy News / News)

KERRY KATONA MAY HAVE HER ASSETS SEIZED TO SETTLE TAX BILL

2. RUN FOR THE HILLS!
(Holy News / News)

DAVID BECKHAM'S LIFE TO BE MADE INTO MUSICAL

3. JUSTIN-FY MY LOVE
(Holy News / News)

MADGE WANTS TO REUNITE JUSTIN AND BRITNEY

4. DANIELLE GETS THE WIND PUT UP HER
(Holy News / News)

DANIELLE LLOYD DATES GLADIATOR CALLED TORNADO

5. BATHTIME FOR CHANELLE
(Holy News / News)

CHANELLE HAS A NEW BOYFRIEND

6. JUST CALL HER 'DANGLE'
(Holy News / News)

THE WORLD WAITS FOR HALLE BERRY TO NAME HER DAUGHTER

7. PUMPY THEN RUMPY
(Holy News / News)

RANGE OF CELEBRITY BLOW UP DOLLS LAUNCHED

8. BACKE ON TEH DRUGGES AGANE!
(Holy News / pete)

OR THE SECRET DIARY OF P DOEHERTY OF BABYSHABLES

9. NO MONEY BLUES
(Holy News / News)

BRITNEY SPEARS TO GET WEEKLY ALLOWANCE FROM HER DAD

10. TOTAL REBUFF
(Holy News / News)

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER FAILS TO CHARM HIS FANS

11. THE GOLDEN RASPBERRY AWARD RESULTS
(Holy News / News)

EDDIE MURPHY AND LINDSAY LOHAN WIN BIG AT THE RAZZIES

12. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET

13. QUEUE-Y LEWIS, AND THE BLUES
(Holy News / News)

LEWIS HAMILTON’S RUN OF BAD LUCK CONTINUES

14. Newsmound
(Holy News / News)

What's happening elsewhere on the internet?

15. Heiress Potless
(Holy News / News)

Paris Hilton's grandfather cuts her out of his will

16. Kelly Brook: Family Not Fans Of Zane
(Holy News / News)

Kelly Brook's family didn't like her boyfriend Billy Zane when they first met him

17. Vernon Kaye: No Price Could Be Right
(Holy News / News)

The Vernon Kaye hosted celebrity edition of The Price Is Right his the skids when only 60 of the 400

18. Vernon Kaye: No Price Could Be Right
(Holy News / News)

Vernon Kaye struggles to find audience for the Price Is Right

19. I AM SPARTACUS
(Holy News / News)

OJ suggests he could be father to Niocole-Smith's child

20. I AM SPARTACUS
(Holy News / News)

OJ Simpson puts himself forward as a possible father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby

21. CELEBRITY FAME ACADEMY CONTESTANTS
(Holy News / News)

Tara among Fame Academy hopefuls

22. CELEBRITY FAME ACADEMY CONTESTANTS
(Holy News / News)

CELEBRITY FAME ACADEMY CONTESTANTS announced

23. ILL ADVISED BOOK
(Holy News / News)

ILL ADVISED BOOK

24. HELP US PAY FOR THE NEW SITE!
(Holy News / News)

HELP US PAY FOR THE NEW SITE!

25. Anti bullying bands
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...I was bullied when I was younger, it made me who I am today"... do your bit for the future of television, sports stars & porn by slapping the out the next little ginger bastard you see... ...

26. BMX in the Olympics
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

By 2026 tree climbing, dead arm competitions and runouts will also be Olympic sports

27. David Beckham
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

What's the problem, hasn't he got enough money being the highest paid sports star in the world. Is there any advert this cunt won't do? I saw an advert for Castrol GTX with him in -"Well he's a good

28. didier drogba
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...it shambolic that such a joke of a man, who has neither an ounce of footballing talent nor shread of good sportsmanship can even be put on a pitch to entertain and inspire. Bought for the equivalent m...

29. End of season sports journos...
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

'(insert player here) out for season!'. Yeah, but only because the season has about three weeks left you over-dramatic twats. A sprained groin is hardly a cruciate ligament or a broken leg you journ

30. Gary Lineker
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...et and such was your boyish charm and disarming smile. One of the best. Then you become one of the best sports presenters we've ever had. Knowledgeable and funny too. All of which then begs the que...