1. MY WAPEY RAPE JOKE
(Holy News / News)

RUSSELL BRAND APOLOGISES FOR SEX ATTACK JOKE

2. SHE'S A TOP DRAWER KNOB!
(Holy News / Big Brother)

THE HOLY MOLY BIG BROTHER 9 BLOG: DAY 34

3. FOREST GRUMP
(Holy News / News)

RUSSELL CROWE AND SIENNA MILLER TO STAR IN ROBIN HOOD FILM

4. ANOTHER OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE CLIP
(Holy News / News)

JOAN RIVERS SWEARS ON UK AFTERNOON TV

5. MY QUOTEY WOTE
(Holy News / News)

RUSSELL BRAND SAYS SEX IS BETTER THAN TALKING

6. MY WEENEY WINK
(Holy News / News)

RUSSELL BRAND SHY ABOUT FULL FRONTAL NUDITY

7. THE AMBASSADOR'S PARTY
(Holy News / News)

RUSSELL BRAND EXPLAINS NIGHT AT EMBASSY CLUB

8. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

9. MY BONKY WONK
(Holy News / News)

RUSSELL BRAND CAUGHT WITH TWO LADIES IN CLUB LOOS

10. WIN DVDS FROM THE PRODUCERS OF 'FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL'
(Holy News / Competition)

WIN 'SUPERBAD', 'KNOCKED UP' AND 'THE 40-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN' DVDS

11. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

12. BRAND NEW KEEF
(Holy News / News)

RUSSELL BRAND TO PLAY KEITH RICHARDS IN STAGE PLAY

13. A COUPLE OF IDIOTS
(Holy News / News)

ORLANDO BLOOM GOING OUT WITH RUMER WILLIS?

14. THE OSCARS HAPPEN AND PEOPLE WON
(Holy News / News)

LIST OF ACADEMY AWARD WINNERS 2008

15. GOLDIE DUCKIN' FAME
(Holy News / News)

GOLDIE HAWN ANNOYED BY OBSESSIVE PRESS

16. RUSSELL HEARTY
(Holy News / News)

RUSSELL WATSON TO GO AHEAD WITH NEW ALBUM RELEASE

17. AND THE BRAND PLAYED ON
(Holy News / News)

RUSSELL BRAND REVEALS HOW HE LOST HIS VIRGINITY

18. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET

19. CROWE-VERWEIGHT
(Holy News / News)

RUSSELL CROWE FORCED TO LOSE WEIGHT FOR NEW MOVIE ROLE

20. ROMPER STOMPER WHIMPER
(Holy News / News)

RUSSELL CROWE HAS A BAD TEMPER BECAUSE OF LOW SELF-ESTEEM

21. MCCANN MOVIE MADE UP
(Holy News / News)

DAILY EXPRESS INVENTS MADELEINE MOVIE

22. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

What's happening elsewhere on the internet?

23. The Cat Who Got The Cream
(Holy News / News)

George Galloway to replace Russell Brand on 'Big Brother's Big Mouth'

24. HM Exclusive: Kylie's To Do List
(Holy News / News)

Kylie Minogue plots her future in scrawly handwriting

25. HM GEEK EXCLUSIVE!
(Holy News / News)

Kylie Minogue has confirmed that she will be appearing on the BBC's hit sci-fi show, Doctor Who

26. I HEART FUCKING FUCKABEES
(Holy News / News)

Lily Tomlin argues with David O' Rusell on Huckabees film set

27. JOSS STONE IS FUCKING DREADFUL
(Holy News / News)

Joss Stone embarasses herself at the Brits

28. JOSS STONE IS FUCKING DREADFUL
(Holy News / News)

JOSS STONE IS FUCKING DREADFUL

29. SWINE!
(Holy News / News)

SWINE!

30. Dave Berry
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Stupid cockney fuckwit who makes June Sarpong look like a good television persenter. Is now trying to do a Russell Brand and introduce eloquently long and interesting diatribe to his script, except he