1. GET OFF YOUR HIGH HAT
(Holy News / News)

RINGO STARR CLAIMS HE WAS THE BEST DRUMMER IN THE BEATLES

2. NO KNEE TREMBLER
(Holy News / News)

HEATHER MILLS DENIES SHE IS WRITING A SEX MANUAL

3. WORKING CLASS HAIRDO
(Holy News / News)

YOUR CHANCE TO BUY SOME OF JOHN LENNON’S HAIR

4. C'S ON BOAST
(Holy News / News)

MELANIE C SAYS SHE'S THE BEST SINGER IN THE SPICE GIRLS

5. PLEASE, PLEASE LOVE ME DO
(Holy News / News)

DAVE GROHL NOT AS TALENTED AS RINGO STARR, SAYS DAVE

6. DRUMMING UP PUBLICITY
(Holy News / News)

QUENTIN TARANTINO WANTS TO DIRECT RINGO STARR

7. Give Peace And Quiet A Chance
(Holy News / News)

Mick Jagger to release duet with John Lennon

8. Starr Quality
(Holy News / News)

Former Beatle Ringo Starr's solo records to be available for download

9. D.Boon
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

For writing ''I Felt Like a Gringo'' and being one third of one of the best three piece bands ever to exist. You were, are and always will be a legend.

10. The Beatles are, in fact, dying in order of musica...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

The Beatles are, in fact, dying in order of musical credibility. Ringo therefore has nothing to worry about for some time.