1. THE MASTURBATION OLYMPICS
(Holy News / VIDEO)

GET CAPE WEAR CAPE FLY TALKS RELIGION AND THE OLYMPICS

2. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S HAPPENING ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET

3. MOVIE STAR MITCH
(Holy News / News)

MITCH WINEHOUSE TO APPEAR IN FILM

4. OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE SOUNDS
(Holy News / News)

BRYAN MCFADDEN DISLIKES THE COLOUR PINK

5. YOU KNOW THINGS AREN'T GOING WELL WHEN...
(Holy News / News)

KELLY OSBOURNE CALLS PEACHES GELDOF 'SAD'

6. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S HAPPENING ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET

7. BACKE ON TEH DRUGGES AGANE!
(Holy News / pete)

OR THE SECRET DIARY OF P DOEHERTY OF BABYSHABLES

8. DEAR AMY...
(Holy News / News)

AMY WINEHOUSE TO BE AN AGONY AUNT

9. LEATHERHEAD
(Holy News / News)

MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY TO BE THE NEW FACE OF BEEF

10. CHEWBACCA MARTIN
(Holy News / News)

CHRIS MARTIN SAYS IT'S OKAY TO GIVE YOUR CHILDREN WEIRD NAMES

11. IT MUST BE LOVE
(Holy News / News)

LINDSAY ADMITS TO RELATIONSHIP WITH SAM RONSON (SORT OF)

12. BITCHWATCH
(Holy News / News)

PAMELA ANDERSON CALLS JESSICA SIMPSON A 'BITCH' AND A 'WHORE'

13. MITCH OF THE DAY
(Holy News / News)

AMY WINEHOUSE'S DAD GIVES HIS DAILY BRIEFING TO THE PRESS

14. GLAMOUR URINE EXTRACTION SUCKERS NATION SURELY
(Holy News / News)

GLAMOUR AWARDS IN WORLD'S MOST RIDICULOUS WINNERS LIST SHOCKER

15. BEFORE...
(Holy News / News)

GLAMOUR AWARDS PICTURE GALLERY

16. OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE CLIP!
(Holy News / News)

POLITICAL SPEECH INTERRUPTED BY FLYING PENIS

17. OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE CLIP!
(Holy News / News)

DOLLY PARTON TO SUE US DJ OVER TALKING BOOK ADDITIONS

18. BACKE ON TEH DRUGGES AGANE!
(Holy News / pete)

OR THE SECRET DIARY OF P DOEHERTY OF BABYSHABLES

19. EXCUSE ME WHILE I KISS THIS...
(Holy News / News)

JIMI HENDRIX SEX TAPE TO BE RELEASED?

20. BACKE ON TEH DRUGGES AGANE!
(Holy News / pete)

OR THE SECRET DIARY OF P DOEHERTY OF BABYSHABLES

21. CAREY ON WHINING
(Holy News / News)

MARIAH CAREY GIVES HER OPINION ON LEONA LEWIS

22. INDIA STRAITS
(Holy News / News)

LINDSAY LOHAN FALLS OUT WITH HER FATHER AGAIN

23. COTTAGE PLEAS
(Holy News / News)

PARIS HILTON IS NASTY TO HER FORMER BEST FRIEND

24. LILY THE EAGLE ALLEN
(Holy News / News)

LILY ALLEN SAYS SHE'S THE BEST FEMALE CHAT SHOW HOST IN THE UK

25. UP THE SECURITY
(Holy News / News)

PETE DOHERTY GIVEN SPECIAL TREATMENT IN JAIL

26. BACKE ON TEH DRUGGES AGANE!
(Holy News / pete)

OR THE SECRET DIARY OF P DOEHERTY OF BABYSHABLES

27. (OLD) MATERIAL GIRL
(Holy News / News)

MADONNA WON'T SING THE OLD SONGS UNLESS THE PRICE IS RIGHT

28. AND FINALLY... LAUGHTER
(Holy News / News)

RADIO 4 NEWSREADER GETS FITS OF GIGGLES DURING AN OBITUARY

29. BACKE ON TEH DRUGGES AGANE!
(Holy News / pete)

OR THE SECRET DIARY OF P DOEHERTY OF BABYSHABLES

30. IS THERE AN AL KOHOLIC HERE?
(Holy News / News)

Sara Cox has a baby boy and gives it a ridiculous name