1. SHE'S CREATING A MONSTER
(Holy News / News)

JORDAN'S DAUGHTER HAS OVER 100 PAIRS OF SHOES

2. EXPRESS YOURSELF (FOR MONEY)
(Holy News / News)

DID MADONNA CO-WRITE HER BROTHER'S TELL-ALL BOOK?

3. LAZY BEANS
(Holy News / News)

COURTNEY LOVE'S DAUGHTER NOT WORKING HARD AT SUMMER JOB

4. THE MENTAL AGE OF MIMI
(Holy News / News)

MARIAH CAREY BELIEVES SHE IS 12 YEARS OLD

5. DOWNTOWN GIRLS
(Holy News / News)

BRIAN MCFADDEN DOESN'T LIKE HIS CHILDREN'S ACCENTS

6. RONALDO'S 'STAIN'
(Holy News / News)

THE RONALDO THREE TRANSVESTITES STORY THAT JUST KEEPS ON GIVING

7. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

8. AT THE END OF HER HEATHER
(Holy News / News)

HEATHER MILLS GOES ON GMTV AGAIN

9. BID UP, BID ON UP
(Holy News / News)

JAMES BROWN'S POSSESSIONS TO BE AUCTIONED

10. JUNGLE LOVE
(Holy News / News)

JORDAN AND PETER REVISIT THE SET OF 'I'M A CELEB'

11. WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BABY ONE MORE TIME?
(Holy News / News)

BRITNEY SPEARS LOCKED AWAY WITH HER MEMORIES

12. I'M LOVING ALIENS INSTEAD
(Holy News / News)

ROBBIE WILLIAMS HANGS OUT WITH CONSPIRACY THEORIST DAVID ICKE

13. PINK PROPHECY
(Holy News / News)

PINK FEARS INSISTENT PAPARAZZI WILL CAUSE ACCIDENT

14. COCK TALE
(Holy News / News)

TOM CRUISE WAS A WOMANISER AND A HOMOPHOBE

15. REGRET A GABO?
(Holy News / News)

MILLA JOVOVICH EXPLAINS NEW DAUGHTER'S UNUSUAL NAME

16. HEAT MAGAZINE IN HOT WATER
(Holy News / News)

HEAT GIVE AWAY OFFENSIVE STICKERS OF HARVEY

17. DAY 12: I'M A CELEBRITY GET ME OUT OF HERE
(Holy News / Im a Celebrity)

JOHN LEAVES THE JUNGLE. PHEW

18. 'DESPERATE' SAYS FISHWIFE
(Holy News / News)

KERRY KATONA CRITICISES POSH SPICE'S ACTIONS

19. NO SEX PLEASE, WE’RE BRITISH, GREEK AND AUSTRALIAN
(Holy News / News)

JORDAN ONLY HAS SEX NOW TO GET PREGNANT

20. STOP RIGHT NOW! STOP!
(Holy News / News)

VICTORIA BECKHAM ALMOST RECREATES PRINCESS DI'S LAST MOMENTS

21. MCCANN MOVIE MADE UP
(Holy News / News)

DAILY EXPRESS INVENTS MADELEINE MOVIE

22. Gandhi’s Randy Gland
(Holy News / News)

Sir Ben Kingsley marries a Brazilian waitress

23. Bon Jovi Bashes Brit Bands
(Holy News / News)

Jon Bon Jovi: No fan of the British

24. Who Is This Person?
(Holy News / News)

Guess the identity of this mystery woman...

25. And Here'sh Bob With The Newsh
(Holy News / News)

Sarah Kennedy slurs her way through radio show

26. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

What's happening elsewhere on the internet?

27. Look At Me! Look at Me!
(Holy News / News)

Makosi from BB6 says she's the 'black Diana'

28. Simply Red
(Holy News / News)

Jordan's baby is ginger

29. Previously On 'The Toilet'...
(Holy News / News)

Fearne Cotton interrupts Kiefer Sutherland on the toilet

30. These people have ruined their child's future
(Holy News / News)

Jordan and Peter Andre's new baby's name verges on child abuse