1. OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE CLIP
(Holy News / News)

PETE DOHERTY STILL PINING FOR KATE MOSS

2. OLSEN FUN
(Holy News / News)

THE OLSEN TWINS WERE GIVEN FULL FAT MILK IN THEIR COFFEE

3. LOHAN, GROAN, MOAN
(Holy News / News)

DINA LOHAN UPSTAGED IN HER OWN FAMILY REALITY SHOW

4. 'P' IS FOR 'PRETENTIOUS'
(Holy News / News)

ASHTON KUTCHER URINATES OUTSIDE EVERY MORNING

5. SHALLOW KNAVE
(Holy News / News)

EWAN MCGREGOR GREATLY ADMIRES DANIEL DAY-LEWIS

6. THE SHIT HITS THE FAN
(Holy News / News)

PETE DOHERTY IN ROW WITH FAN OVER FOOTBALL SHIRT

7. TO BE SERIOUS FOR A MOMENT...
(Holy News / News)

SCREENWRITER CONFUSED OVER TITLE OF NEXT BOND MOVIE

8. IN THE NAME OF LUVVY
(Holy News / News)

U2 AND THEIR PRODUCERS ARE BACK IN THE RECORDING STUDIO

9. GRIMEWATCH
(Holy News / News)

CRIME RATE DROPS AFTER KATE MOSS MOVES INTO NEIGHBOURHOOD

10. NARK-LIFE
(Holy News / News)

DAMON ALBARN WANTS TO SCRAP X FACTOR

11. MUSE ERECTION NON ERECTION
(Holy News / News)

COUNCIL FIND MUSE SIGN OFFENSIVE AND BIN SLOGAN

12. Foxx Joins Hollywood Cocks
(Holy News / News)

Jamie Foxx is a self-important tool

13. Pete Doherty: The Hamster Cheek years
(Holy News / News)

Pete Doherty Makes His First TV Appearance

14. They're Not Getting Any Younger
(Holy News / News)

Celebrity birthdays

15. Wank Mag Spouts Wank
(Holy News / News)

Pretentious piece from penthouse magazine

16. 50 Cent
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Real name Curtis James Jackson III - pretentious cunt. I don't want to know about how many bitches you been wid dawg or how much money you've earnt by singing about yourself. The only person who's mor

17. Alex James
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

For appearing to be a clueless, ignorant, pretentious cunt on Question Time last night.

18. Chilli peppers with chocolate
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Fuck off, you pretentious cunts.

19. Contemporary Dance Performers
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

You look like cunts, you dance like cunts. Pretentious cunts.

20. Daniel o'donnell
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

You are the most pretentious conceited twat i have ever seen,he murders some shitty melody,usually 'stand beside me' i'm told,while a line,i mean a fuckin line of granny's take turn's to give him flow

21. FHM Friday Mailout
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

I know, we'll make ithe mailout 'sideways' scrolling to be different - you stupid, pretentious cunts. And your magazine is a pile of shit.

22. Fiddy Cent
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Real name Curtis James Jackson III - pretentious cunt. I don't want to know how many bitches you bin wid dawg. You are a cunt. Glorifying crime, drugs and treating people like shit in your 'music' is

23. Flip-flops
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Get some real footwear you pretentious cunts. I tend to "accidentally" stand on sandal wearers feet in crowded places. Or try to kick your toenails off with the sole of my real shoe. Ouch.

24. Friends
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Cunts would be a better name for this shower of american twats, get over yourselves you silly pretentious cunts.

25. Goths
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

You aren't Vampires, creatures of the night, the undead, different, stylish or clever. You are all posing pretentious cunts.

26. HM users
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...twats. I used to imagine the users of this site as being like Dylan Moran - cynical with a healthy eye for pretentious wankers and celebrity bullshit, but also very funny. However you seem to have...

27. HolyMoly users
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

..., quit your job. Stop complaining and be a (wo)man! Fuck! Lauders of Morrissey and any other Indie, overrated, pretentious (ironic, seeing as most users take a rational, utilitarian stand against pret...

28. Jamie Oliver
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

You are a false pretentious fucking public school wank trying to be psuedo man of the people "wanker" next door, oi! oi!, cockney rebel thats me guv, wot a wanking toss bag cunt you really are!!! W

29. John Lennon
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...rotest bollocks. What has it accomplished? Nothing! We have multinational global firms now, public apathy, and pretentious twats like Bono who think playing festivals or writing Fair Trade on their te...

30. Kasabian
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...s done. Only slightly worse. The only ones more cunty are those cunts that get suckered in to such commercial, pretentious, shitty indie bands (see also 'Razorlight'). "Shoot the runner?" Better id...