1. XENU YORK, NEW YORK
(Holy News / News)

KATIE HOLMES CONFIRMS SHE WILL PERFORM ON BROADWAY

2. CONTENDERS READY!
(Holy News / News)

WHEN HOLY MOLY MET THE NEW GLADIATORS

3. I'LL MAKE BOND AN OFFER HE CAN'T REFUSE
(Holy News / News)

AL PACINO TO APPEAR IN NEXT BOND FILM

4. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

5. IT'S BATTLE AXES VERSUS BOWS AND ARROWS!
(Holy News / Competition)

WIN PATHFINDER DVDS AND A BLOODY BIG SWORD

6. Austrian Cellar Coma Girl
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

so having escaped from one nasty horrible sexual predator through the bizarre good fortune of your illness you awake from your coma and declare you'd like to see a Robbie Williams concert and meet him

7. Gene Simmons
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...s every female on the planet wants to sleep with him. (Doesn't he own a mirror?) He talks like a whispering predatory peado and looks like an extra from planet of the apes. Meantime he's hanging aroun...

8. James Blunt
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...elysweet ballad whilst all the time simply trying to loosen their knicker elastic. Everybit as sexually predatory as the most un-reconstituted MCP but wearing a Laura Ashley/Bodyshop smile to disg...

9. Morrissey
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

A vapid, predatory bonobo. An age ago, when half the country was still employed in the coal or cotton industries, he sparked a modicum of controversy through his gladioli-abusing ambiguous sexuality.

10. The Predator
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Futuristic, state of the art Alien hunter in search of the ultimate challenge and worthy opponent... so why the fuck does he shoot everyone in the back of the head from a distance while invisable? Che

11. When women's magazines say it's beneficial to shar...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

... say it's beneficial to share your fantasies with your partner, they don't mean the ones about having a pet predator or picking folk off with a sniper rifle....

12. Jeremy Kyle is only hosting his programme to pass ...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

...is only hosting his programme to pass the time while he waits for Sky One to buy the format for 'To Catch a Predator'. ...

13. "Popular" TV Show, I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out Of H...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

...ity Get Me Out Of Here! would become more entertaining if one of the celebrities confined to the jungle was Predator....

14. THE DARK KNIGHT
(HM Approved!/HM Approved!)

...hristian Bale was born to play Bruce Wayne. He has an innate ability to appear both emotionally distant and predatory in the same moment, behind his wide smile his eyes tell a much darker story. There...