1. O JUBBERS, WHERE ART THOU?
(Holy News / News)

DID GEORGE CLOONEY DUMP GIRLFRIEND OVER BOOB JOB?

2. I BELIEVE I'M ON TRIAL
(Holy News / News)

R KELLY CHILD PORNOGRAPHY COURT CASE NEARS END

3. I BELIEVE I MIGHT CRY
(Holy News / News)

R KELLY TRIAL CONTINUES

4. SNOOP IN THE DOGG HOUSE
(Holy News / News)

OPRAH WINFREY CALLS SNOOP DOGG A MISOGYNIST

5. MR SHEEN IS SQUEAKY CLEAN
(Holy News / News)

CHARLIE SHEEN INSISTS HE DOES NOT VIEW CHILD PORNOGRAPHY

6. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

What's happening elsewhere on the internet?

7. Britney hires young boys
(Holy News / News)

Britney Spears fondles an escort in a swimming pool

8. Forget P Diddy, here's R Kiddy-Fiddly
(Holy News / News)

R Kelly due to face trial for child pornography charges

9. R Kelly: Deluded Cunt
(Holy News / News)

R Kelly claims to be the Marvin Gaye, Bob Marley and Martin Luther King of today

10. The great phone-in Kon
(Holy News / News)

Blue Peter snake footage goes too far

11. The great phone-in Kon
(Holy News / News)

Blue Peter get caught fixing a competition

12. who ARE they?
(Holy News / News)

Big Brother 7 reunion party

13. who ARE they?
(Holy News / News)

who ARE they?

14. Bernard Manning posters
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...you gain some perspective I'd like to draw your attention to the thousands of rapists, murders and child pornographers in the world....

15. Computers
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

You work fine when I'm perusing amateur pornography or wasting time reading people's bitter, but just, lists of cunts but when I've got a job application to do, want to buy something or am doing anyth

16. Dawn French & Lenny Henry
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

That's a porno I wouldn't want to see.

17. Local Government workers
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Stress? Pressure? Fuck off. I used to buy two newspapers and some pornography to keep me amused when I worked for the Council. Did fuck all, 5 days a week, and never came close to a warning. It's

18. Prison Break
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Jesus christ, it's like a bad porno. In and out, and in again.

19. Volvos
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...think that just because they are driving a 5 litre 4x4 behemoth manufactured in the land of ABBA , child pornography and sandals they somehow occupy a moral high ground unreachable to us lesser mortal...

20. Danny Boyle
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

For even trying to get Ewan 'prima donna' McGregor to play Renton in Porno. Fingers crossed Danny.

21. Holy Moly
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

For introducing me, via the mailout, to Pornotube.

22. Irvine Welsh
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

... Nightmares has to be one of the most fucked up and engrossing books I've ever read. Filth is superb and Porno hilarious. All in my own humble of course. Now lets watch the slagging off responses roll...

23. The Internet
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

... download as much porn as humanly possible! Saves loads of money, and trees, since you don't need to buy porno mags. Would have saved me an absolute fortune when I was younger! The INTERNET, we salute...

24. The laydeh HM poster
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

... with the latest fashions or Sex and The City, describing themselves as 'bubbly'. I'll bet my weight in porno mags that she's a minx in the sack. Please don't turn out to be an overweight munter wi...

25. The thrill of finding money in a pair of trousers ...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

...finding money in a pair of trousers you have not worn for a while, is similar to the thrill of finding a porno you have never watched....

26. The internet has totally killed off any chance of ...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

The internet has totally killed off any chance of finding pornography in hedges.

27. It takes courage to admit that you like animal por...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

It takes courage to admit that you like animal pornography.

28. Watching hardcore pornography with 'Magic FM' on i...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

Watching hardcore pornography with 'Magic FM' on in the backround will make you cry.

29. For the benefit of those who run pornographic webs...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

For the benefit of those who run pornographic websites: Someone ceases to be a teen on their twentieth birthday rather than their thirtieth.

30. BORING AS FUCK TERMS AND CONDITIONS
(Static Content)

..., inaccurate, abusive, vulgar, harassing, obscene, threatening, invasive of a person's privacy, pornographic, or otherwise in violation of any law on the face of the planets Earth and Pop. Yo...