1. ALL THAT GLITTERS ISN'T GOLD
(Holy News / Big Brother)

THE HOLY MOLY BIG BROTHER 9 BLOG: DAY 50

2. I'M BEING MADE TO LOOK LIKE A KNOB
(Holy News / Big Brother)

THE HOLY MOLY BIG BROTHER 9 BLOG: DAY 33

3. PUT THE WEED DOWN, GEORGE
(Holy News)

GEORGE MICHAEL'S PARANOID RANT ABOUT THE MEDIA

4. SLACK EYED PEAS
(Holy News / News)

FERGIE MISTAKEN FOR A TRAMP

5. WIN A SKATEBOARD
(Holy News / Competition)

A SKATEBOARD AND PARANOID PARK GOODIES ON OFFER

6. OK CAMPER
(Holy News / News)

RADIOHEAD GUITARIST'S TREK AND ROLL STAG DO

7. ASH ENTERTAINMENT
(Holy News / News)

PAUL WELLER FACES A FINE FOR SMOKING ON STAGE

8. Bin Laden's target number one
(Holy News / News)

Bobby Brown: Still absolutely crazy

9. GMTV
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...ory 2 - Teenager raped and murdered in India! Probably by a dirty paedo! Story 3 - Why are parents getting paranoid and not letting their kids walk to school anymore? Experts are baffled. It's as ...

10. paranoid people
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

we all took a vote and decided that you are a cunt

11. Wrong turn haters
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...rive and then fuck off for a long walk, i'm going to take 10 seconds to pull in and then reverse out again. Paranoid, possesive cunts!...

12. Holy Moly
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

For making me anti-social, paranoid, and generally psychotic, hail thee oh great one, for i am your humble servant.

13. Matt Bellamy
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

Multi-talented bonkers paranoid sexy rock pixie who can shag a guitar sideways. Plus he owns a jetpack. Man of my sweaty dreams.