1. SOUR CHILD O' OZZY'S
(Holy News / News)

AXL ROSE FANCIES KELLY OSBOURNE

2. DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD
(Holy News / News)

SHARON OSBOURNE QUITS THE X FACTOR

3. EVERYBODY NEEDS LEWD NEIGHBOURS
(Holy News / News)

CHRISTINA AGUILERA KEEPS THE NEIGHBOURS UP WITH SEX NOISES

4. THE OZZY MONSTER
(Holy News / News)

OZZY OSBOURNE GETS SUGAR PUFFS SHIPPED OVER TO LA

5. BRIT AWARDS PHOTO GALLERY
(Holy News / News)

BRIT AWARD WINNERS

6. PHOTO GALLERY OF BRIT NOMINEES
(Holy News / News)

BRIT AWARD PREDICTIONS

7. MILLS AND LOON
(Holy News / News)

SHARON OSBOURNE THREATENS HEATHER MILLS

8. SMIRK AT THE MOON
(Holy News / News)

MCCARTNEY WILL NOT DUET WITH OZZY OSBOURNE AT THE BRITS

9. AND THE AWARD GOES TO...WHATSHISNAME?
(Holy News / News)

OZZY OSBOURNE NERVOUS ABOUT HOSTING BRIT AWARDS

10. I VANT TO BITE YOUR NECK!
(Holy News / News)

HOLY MOLY'S TOP FIVE CELEBRITY BITING INCIDENTS

11. BLACK FLABBETH
(Holy News / News)

OZZY LOOKS PREGNANT

12. EXTRAS SERIES GRUESOME
(Holy News / News)

STAR TREK SEEKS ODD LOOKING EXTRAS

13. HOW DO YOU IMPROVE ON PERFECTION?
(Holy News / News)

NO MORE PLASTIC SURGERY FOR ME, VOWS SHARON OSBOURNE

14. THE DAY THE MUSIC...DIDN'T DO MUCH AT ALL
(Holy News / News)

JOHN LENNON'S DEATH MADE THE WORLD STOP FOR OZZY OSBOURNE

15. One Love (And Hate)
(Holy News / News)

BBC launches series of shows to celebrate 40th birthday of Radio 1

16. It Makes Your Heart Bleed
(Holy News / News)

Sharon Osbourne misses husband Ozzy

17. Newsmound
(Holy News / News)

What's happening elsewhere on the internet?

18. Cough At The Moon
(Holy News / News)

Ozzy Osbourne believes nicotine is the most addictive drug

19. Mess O'Connor
(Holy News / News)

Sinead O'Connor talks about war and religion. Again.

20. War is Stupid, and Ozzy Is Too
(Holy News / News)

Ozzy Osbourne says war is bad, probably

21. 668 - The Neighbour of The Beast
(Holy News / News)

Over-zealous fans force Ozzy Osbourne to consider selling his house

22. I'd Rather Fleetwood Mac Than Jack
(Holy News / News)

Ozzy Osbourne blames fame for his son Jack's drug habit

23. Sweary Sharon Does It Again
(Holy News / News)

Sharon Osbourne lets four-letter tirade loose at Gene Simmons

24. What Is The Point Of This Person?
(Holy News / News)

What Is The Point Of This Person?What is the point of Sharon Osbourne?

25. Australians
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

... Check the Olympic medal table you fucking Neanderthals. We beat you at everything now - everything. Ozzy Ozzy Ozzy Cunt! Cunt! Cunt!...

26. my boss and bank
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...t of the five necessary boxes for homeless support, because I'm not a psycho, or druggy, or fucked up prozzy, I'm not homeless enough to warrant help... how much more homeless can I get, I'm sleeping ...

27. Ozzy Osbourne
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

What are you saying you drugged up, shaking old man. How on earth you was never shot a birth I will never know. Don't get me started on the kids!!! Fuck sake, how did these cunts end up on TV!!

28. Ozzy Osbourne
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Can F**K off. Bleeping Cunt.

29. Radio 1's legends fortnight
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...y night. Ok get the concept, fair dos...so who is actually appearing as a legend? Macca (fair enough), Ozzy Osbourne (wel...alright i see the comedy) but Fat Boy Slim (legend of what? cuntdom?), the ...

30. Any attempt to sing "They tried to make me go to r...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

Any attempt to sing "They tried to make me go to rehab..." in a pub will go from Amy Winehouse to Fozzy Bear in 1.7 seconds