1. PRANCES WITH HORSES
(Holy News / News)

KEVIN COSTNER HAS A RODEO AT HIS WEDDING RECEPTION

2. BACKE ON TEH DRUGGES AGANE!
(Holy News / pete)

OR THE SECRET DIARY OF P DOEHERTY OF BABYSHABLES

3. JUSTIN TIMBER-LATE
(Holy News / News)

TIMBERLAKE'S FORMER BANDMATES DIDN'T KNOW HE'D GONE SOLO

4. THE BORE IS STRONG IN THIS ONE
(Holy News / News)

EWAN MCGREGOR IS FED UP WITH THE UK

5. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S HAPPENING ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

6. James Blunt twats around
(Holy News / News)

James Blunt Oscars hit and run

7. James Blunt twats around
(Holy News / News)

James Cunt runs over a fan's foot

8. Aerosmith's Steven Tyler
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

... Tyler, you lying, scrawny cunt - we don't care whether you are in there for snorting so much coke your nasal lining has dissolved or for treading on an upturned plug in your bare feet. Just don't c...

9. Audi advert
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

For having the nerve to compare the development work behind another dull, mid-range car with NASA's mission to take man to the moon. 'That's one small step for man, one giant drive up the M1 for ugly-

10. Brian Molko
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...n his androgynous look. Frankly, I don't care who he fucks or is fucked by. I just want him to take his nasally anodyne voice, his boring samey songs and his kohl pencil and shove them right up his am...

11. LearnDirect
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...e still struggling to learn basic arithmetic, how to construct a simple sentence or why making constant nasal sounds caused by their apparently permanent colds is likely to make any decent person feel...

12. Nasal Hair
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Pointless cunt

13. Pete Burns
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...or, er, fuck all Putty-faced, whining shit-eater Did I mention he''s a pathetic, bitchy, scarred, nasal scouse cunt with all the charm of rectal warts?...

14. David 'Calamity' James
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

...ent career involves sport. I hope he writes a book on the impact of neuro-surgery on popular culture or NASA's role in method acting when he quits. I'll be his Personal Assistant. My email address is ...

15. There's no such thing as a free launch. Just ask N...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

There's no such thing as a free launch. Just ask NASA