1. DRIVING MRS CRAZY
(Holy News / News)

MORGAN FREEMAN IS GETTING A POST CAR-CRASH DIVORCE

2. FIXED RATE LOHAN
(Holy News / News)

MICHAEL LOHAN'S LOVE CHILD IS RIPE FOR EXPLOITATION

3. ONE LOVE
(Holy News / News)

LEE RYAN HAVING BABY WITH FAN WHO POSTED REVEALING PICTURES ON MYSPACE

4. AMY WINEHOUSE UPDATE
(Holy News / News)

AMY WINEHOUSE TO BE DISCHARGED FROM HOSPITAL AFTER FAINTING

5. DAD OF THE YEAR
(Holy News / News)

PETER ANDRE NAMED 'DAD OF THE YEAR'

6. ENVY LOHAN
(Holy News / News)

LINDSAY'S MYSTERIOUS JEALOUSY FIT OVER FEMALE 'FRIEND'

7. PARIS THE NEW YOKO?
(Holy News / News)

GOOD CHARLOTTE WANT PARIS OUT

8. TRULY, MADLY, CREEPY
(Holy News / News)

KATIE HOLMES STILL MADLY IN LOVE WITH TOM CRUISE

9. WOMB RAIDER
(Holy News / News)

CREW MEMBER CLAIMS LESBIAN AFFAIR WITH ANGELINA JOLIE

10. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

11. FORCED TO COME DANCING
(Holy News / News)

NATASHA KAPLINSKY CLAIMS SHE WAS BULLIED INTO DOING STRICTLY COME DANCING

12. XENU UNDER ATTACK
(Holy News / News)

SCIENTOLOGY CENTRES RECEIVE MYSTERIOUS WHITE POWDER IN POST

13. OBLIGATORY YOU TUBE CLIP
(Holy News / News)

TOM CRUISE FRIGHTENS THE ENTIRE PLANET

14. BOOBY PRIZE
(Holy News / News)

WHAT IS AMY DOING?

15. Unholy Trinity
(Holy News / News)

David LaChappelle sticks the boot into Madonna, Gwen Stefani and Christina Aguilera

16. Obligatory Youtube Clip
(Holy News / News)

Lindsay Lohan's unsexy sex scene from I Know Who Killed Me

17. Bin Laden's target number one
(Holy News / News)

Bobby Brown: Still absolutely crazy

18. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

What's happening elsewhere on the internet?

19. crying wolf again
(Holy News / News)

crying wolf again

20. Charley from Big Brother
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...u were offered? The one you've been quacking on about since you were evicted almost a year ago, but which has mysteriously never surfaced (unless I missed its prime-time 2am run on 'Open Access 2')? I...

21. God
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

You'd think he'd have tipped off the Pope about the McCanns - slippery mysterious waysie cunt.

22. Maureen Lippman
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

I don't understand your mysterious ability to give me a bone-on even though you have always had the appearance of a wisened old hag. Strangely erotic cunt.

23. Sainsburys (Again!)
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Isn't it funny how at about this time of year the basic value range mysteriously disappears from the shelves. I can''t taste the fucking difference when it comes to garlic baguettes and scotch eggs yo

24. Sony
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...play music but it's ok, I'll be able to use the new platform you're creating. Today: My CUNTING MP3 player mysteriously completely stops working. I am not buying your new product you thieving CUNTS...

25. Tesco
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...I just noticed tonight that they have gotten into the christmas spirit... Literally! The prices of booze have mysteriously gone up overnight. Tesco claret 1 month ago £2.62, tonight... £2.95. Tesco ...

26. Hair Bobbles
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

...never fails to give my boyf the horn. Mind you, they should perhaps be in Cunt's Corner for their ability to mysteriously disappear and forcing me to buy new packets of them every couple of weeks. ...

27. Ellen Mcarthur on BBC sports personality last nigh...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

Ellen Mcarthur on BBC sports personality last night caused an unexpected and mysterious stirring in quite a few mens pants. She looked strangely attractive in that little black outfit. Every other tim

28. At least once every 6 months everyone will see a p...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

At least once every 6 months everyone will see a pair of shoes mysteriously discarded by the roadside.

29.