1. BORING!
(Holy News / News)

LINDSAY LOHAN AND SAM RONSON ALMOST ADMIT RELATIONSHIP

2. THE WIT AND WISDOM OF PARIS HILTON
(Holy News / News)

PARIS HILTON SHARES HER THOUGHTS ON THE WORLD

3. PARIS 4 ELISHA
(Holy News / News)

PARIS KISSES ACTRESS ELISHA CUTHBERT ON NIGHT OUT

4. SPICE UP YOUR WIFE
(Holy News / News)

MELANIE C HITS OUT AS LESBIAN RUMOUR-MONGERS

5. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S BEEN HAPPENING ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

6. Dawn Porter
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

... anyone in a puerile attempt to pad out an hour of programming, be on the end of your sofa as she flirts with lesbianism without actually eating pussy. Be ever so slightly shocked as she looks at a s...

7. Vic Reeves
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...f a decent joke for years and forced into Z list realityTV slots to pay the rent. Your wife had no option but lesbianism because you are obviously so shit in bed, and you now have to hire a permanent ...