1. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S HAPPENING ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET

2. ANTS IN HER PANTS AMY
(Holy News / News)

AMY LASHES OUT AT ANOTHER FAN FOR PINCHING HER BUM

3. OUT, DAMNED CLOT!
(Holy News / News)

IRISH THEATRE COMPANY PLAN A BECKHAM MUSICAL

4. SMELLS LIKE TEEN MISFIT
(Holy News / News)

FRANCES BEAN COBAIN MAY BE THE NEW FACE OF CHANEL

5. WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR LUNCH
(Holy News / News)

Holy Moly went to the Broadcast Press Guild Awards

6. WELL FED
(Holy News / News)

KEVIN FEDERLINE'S EXPANDING WAIST EXPLAINED

7. AMY FASHIONHOUSE
(Holy News / News)

KARL LAGERFELD CALLS AMY WINEHOUSE A STYLE ICON

8. SCENT OF A FISHWIFE
(Holy News / News)

KERRY KATONA TO LAUNCH HER OWN PERFUME RANGE

9. BACKE ON TEH DRUGGES AGANE!
(Holy News / pete)

THE SECTRET DIARY OF P DOEHERTY OF BABYSHAMEABLES

10. LITTLE TALENT
(Holy News / News)

RALPH LITTLE COMMENTS ON MODERN MEDIA TECHNOLOGY

11. LAGER POUT
(Holy News / News)

PARIS HILTON BANNED FROM GERMAN BEER FESTIVAL

12. Back on the Druggs Agane!
(Holy News / pete)

or the secret dairy of P Doeherty of babyshables #10

13. Amsterdam Whores
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Having spent 26 hours consuming as much of the premium lager, weed, cake & charlie that your morally challenged city can offer, you then expect me to be able to blow my beans in under 15 minutes. Yo

14. Caffe Nero
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...ing with his Motorola and it makes you want to puke. Whatever happened to a bacon sandwich and a pint of lager you pathetic cunts....

15. Carling Lager
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Horrible piss water, why don't you grow some body, you tasteless piss from Satan's bladder.....Oh & only Cunts drink it!!!

16. Drummers!
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...st)...and have the mentalitiy of a chimp!!...i mean even chimps, if you giv them two sticks and a can of lager can play a fuckin drum kit and say they are good....an all drummers all seem to have 'wit...

17. Exclamation Marks!!!!!!!
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Adding !!! at the end does not make what you've written any funnier (Yes, I'm talking to you Carling Lager Entry). If it's funny I will laugh. I don't need the written equivalent of canned laughter to

18. Fat Alcoholic Housemates
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

... stuffing your face with yet another round of cheese on toast. And drowning your sorrows with 10 cans of lager is not going to make you any slimmer you fat saggy titted cunt....

19. Gavin and Stacy
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

This isn't funny It's a sack of shit It's in the same league as 2 Pints Of Lager Unfunny cunts

20. Karl Lagerfeld
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

For wearing ridiculous big collared shirts and making out it's fashionable when we all know it's to hidea neck that's more wrinkled than Helen Daniels'. And she's dead. Cunt.

21. lynx advert
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

geezer sweats enough to keep two fish alive under his pits, he is thus deified by his fellow villagers they even erecy a statue of the sweaty cunt. Then some bloke squirts a bit of lynx on him. Fish d

22. Modern Art Lovers
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

No, it's not an interpretation of of the artists inner turmoil, it's a pile of crushed lager cans dripping in monkey spunk and sprinkled with wood shavings. If you were'nt so petrified of being ridicu

23. Radiohead tonight
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...3/4 a support act, a truculent main act (who were pedestrianen at best) and £7 noodles...oh and carling lager. The other day i spent the same amount and got Futureheads, Supergrass and Foo Fighters ...

24. Road Crossers
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...e, 20 fucking feet away from the traffic island with your bags full of pot fucking noodles and own brand lager. You look at me driving towards you and THAT'S when you decide to run/waddle across the ...

25. Ross Kemp
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Just the way he says "crack another can of lager open" in that posh-twat voice of his on the sky plus advert makes me want to smack the taste out of his mouth.

26. Sheila's Wheels
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

If a bunch of lager swilling, corked hat wearing blokes did a car insurance ad for men only and called it 'Bruce's Wheels' women would be up in fucking arms.

27. stansted airport
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

chav city central. do you really need a pint of lager at 6 am you scumball cunts

28. Stella Artois
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...rom the pub I visited the week previous. For looking, tasting and getting you nicely sozzled like normal lager and then kiiling all your brain cells and making you beat the shite out of your/his/anbod...

29. The BBC
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...nies and providing all their other dross digital channels offering repeat after repeat of ''Two Pints of Lager'' etc? BBC1 and 2 Listings are becoming so compromised that I've even started watching IT...

30. The middle classes (response)
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...those wearing Hush Puppies can manage the first few rungs. Stick with your own you skanky drug-addles lager-drinking, leching cunt....