1. SAY YOU'LL BE HAIR
(Holy News / News)

POSH SPICE STEALS CHERYL COLE'S MUM'S HAIRSTYLE

2. DOWN AND POUT
(Holy News / News)

THE WORLD'S BEST POUT AS VOTED BY US

3. FAECES NIGHTCLUB
(Holy News / News)

'CELEBS' AT FACES NIGHTCLUB PICTURE GALLERY

4. ANOTHER OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE CLIP
(Holy News / News)

JOAN RIVERS SWEARS ON UK AFTERNOON TV

5. BACKE ON TEH DRUGGES AGANE!
(Holy News / pete)

OR THE SECRET DIARY OF P DOEHERTY OF BABYSHABLES

6. A TOWN CALLED VIAGRA
(Holy News / News)

PAUL WELLER GROWS OLD GRACEFULLY WITH PLANS OF HEROIN AND VIAGRA

7. BEFORE...
(Holy News / News)

GLAMOUR AWARDS PICTURE GALLERY

8. MING DYNASTY
(Holy News / News)

JOAN COLLINS BELIEVES THE TABLOIDS HAVE DUMBED DOWN

9. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

10. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

11. MEN IN THE BACK
(Holy News / News)

CRUISE WATCHES WILL SMITH ON ALL FOURS

12. DAY 12: I'M A CELEBRITY GET ME OUT OF HERE
(Holy News / Im a Celebrity)

JOHN LEAVES THE JUNGLE. PHEW

13. I THINK I'M A CELEBRITY SO GET ME OUT OF HERE
(Holy News / News)

I'M A CELEBRITY GET ME OUT OF HERE LINE-UP

14. CHARMLESS MAN
(Holy News / News)

BLUR'S ALEX JAMES MAKES CHEESE, BECOMES SPECTATOR COLUMNIST

15. Macca Jumps Bridget's Bones?
(Holy News / News)

Paul McCartney and Renee Zellweger enjoy a romantic dinner

16. Trump targets troubled trio
(Holy News / News)

Donald Trump wants Hilton, Lohan and Spears for 'The Apprentice'

17. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

What's happening elsewhere on the internet?

18. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

What's happening elsewhere on the internet?

19. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

What's happening elsewhere on the internet?

20. Obligatory YouTube Clip
(Holy News / News)

Joan Rivers is the best Woman in the world

21. Joan Collins
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

... her favour is that she was in Empire of The Ants. For fucks sake I'm going to end singing her praises. Joan, you're too Right wing and as ancient as a recently disentoumbed Pharoah. Give it up love, ...

22. Joan Rivers
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Your not funny and you've been alive for 300 years stop eating souls to stay alive and give cher ago you greedy desicated undead skeletor cunt

23. Lawrence Llewelyn-Bowen
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

The secret love child of Joan Collins and Dr.Frankenfurter.

24. Paul 'O Grady
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...hern accent to old grannies and those on the dole. Licks the asses of minor celebs and associates with Joan "Barbie Freak" Rivers. If there were any justice he would be used for nuclear testing....

25. Joan Rivers
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

for fucking Loose Women

26. Joanna Newsome
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

You've never heard anything like her. Utterly brilliant. Spellbinding.

27. Naomi Campbell
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

Mad as a fucking box of frogs, but adds a bit of Joan Crawford style glamour back into fashion. And she gobbed on a pig! Go on girl, don't take their shit!

28. Sensitive Skin (BBC2)
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

Fucking BRILLIANT. Elegaic, intelligently written, and Joanna Lumley. FUCKING LEGEND.